


enter nct! road trippin'

by sunwardhoseok



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: @ SM PLEASE MAKE OT21 A REALITY, M/M, NCT GOES ON A ROADTRIP, STREAM PUNCH, STREAM TURN BACK TIME !!!!!!, THE NCT OT21 ALBUM PROMOTION WE DESERVED, THEY HOLD CONCERTS AS OT21!!, THIS IS SET IN 2020 PROMOTIONS, and Canada, canon-compliant..ish, markhyuck summer fight 2.0, roadtrip in the us, slight angst, very chaotic, wild and crazy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:26:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 13,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24614479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunwardhoseok/pseuds/sunwardhoseok
Summary: watermelone: you realize i could whoop your ass in half the time it takes you to try and fail to get taeil’s attentionhaechanbestboy: ok andwatermelone: ur a hoejaememe: hyuck is totally mark’s hoewatermelone: yeahhhwatermelone: WAITwatermelone: WHAThaechanbestboy: jaemin go back to jeno you thirsty bitchjaememe: mmm yea maybe i willjaememe: ;)shortass: it’s 4 in the morningshortass: i don’t FUCKING deserve this
Relationships: I WILL BE ADDING MORE, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan & Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Park Jisung/Zhong Chen Le
Comments: 33
Kudos: 194





	1. roadtrip hell

**Author's Note:**

> hi this is 1/3 of my summer projects! i hope you enjoy lol 
> 
> WHAT GOES ON IN NCITY 
> 
> also, please keep in mind that i am in no way dismissing the events in the world right now. please take some time out of your day to sign this petition or perhaps donate to help bring change: http://chng.it/g56y25pwRn ! this would benefit so many people out there in the world, and would also raise money for george floyd's own family. 
> 
> please be mindful and attentive! take some time to educate yourself. thank you so much for your lovely time! 
> 
> HAVE FUN READING :)

_**new chat** _

_lee taeyong, mark lee, +19 others_

_4:37 AM_

**kittyy0ng:** are you guys ready to go 

**watermelone:** oh fuck 

**watermelone:** i completely forgot 

**kittyy0ng:**

**kittyy0ng:** are you serious 

**whatsuhp:** dammit mark 

**watermelone:** IM SORRY 

**watermelone:** I’LL GO PACK 

**kittyy0ng:** i can literally see everyone’s icons 

**kittyy0ng:** YOU’RE ALL ACTIVE CMON 

**parkjesus:** stop spamming pls 

**parkjesus:** it’s 4 in the morning 

**kittyy0ng:** the staff is all here already and i don’t see anyone yet 

**qiankun:** we’re on our way 

**qiankun:** i had to go back for yangyang and hendery because we forgot about them and they almost burned down the kitchen but we stopped them in time and so it’s fine but we’re coming 

**kittyy0ng:** good for wayv for getting UP AND RUNNING

**qiankun:** wait 

**qiankun:** OH NO 

**qiankun:** lucas isn’t in the car 

**bunny:** AHA TAEYONG YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS 

**bunny:** kun best leader !!! 

**kittyy0ng:** JUST GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE ALREADY 

**watermelone:** wait lucas isn’t coming? 

**watermelone:** then i’m not coming 

**kittyy0ng:** what 

**haechanbestboy:** YES 

**watermelone:** wtf donghyuck you ass

**haechanbestboy:** no one wants you here anyway mark 

**watermelone:** hyung* 

**haechanbestboy:** I DON’T THINK SO 

**watermelone:** you realize i could whoop your ass in half the time it takes you to try and fail to get taeil’s attention

**haechanbestboy:** ok and 

**watermelone:** ur a hoe 

**haechanbestboy:** ok and 

**parkjesus:** pls stop flirting

 **parkjesus:** no one wants to see this shit

**whatsuhp:** NO POTTY WORDS 

**parkjesus:** ah fuck 

**watermelone:** _ur a hoe_

 **watermelone:** also we’re not flirting

**parkjesus:** u totally are

**haechanbestboy:** who’s the hoe here ?? 

**watermelone:** you lmaoo 

**haechanbestboy:** fuck you MORK 

**jaememe:** hyuck is totally mark’s hoe 

**watermelone:** yeahhh 

**watermelone:** WAIT 

**watermelone:** WHAT 

**haechanbestboy:** jaemin go back to jeno you thirsty bitch 

**jaememe:** mmm yea maybe i will

 **jaememe:** ;) 

**shortass:** it’s 4 in the morning 

**shortass:** i don’t FUCKING deserve this 

**haechanbestboy:** oo u jealous jun

 **haechanbestboy:** _i_ totally am 

**watermelone:** wow 

**junguwu:** good morning everyone :DD 

**watermelone:** hi hyung !! 

**kittyy0ng:** are you finally packed 

**watermelone:** almost 

**haechanbestboy:** @ ty hes lying 

**haechanbestboy:** hes not even halfway done yet LMAOOOOO 

**bigboy:** it’s true i was the suitcase 

**watermelone:** rlly out here exposing my ass like that huh jeno 

**bigboy:** `~` 

**shortass:** wtf is that

**bigboy:** me 

**jaememe:** wait is hyuck w mark rn ???

**haechanbestboy:** um 

**haechanbestboy:** no 

**chanlay:** _le gasp_

 **chanlay:** HE IS 

**chanlay:** jisung and i peeked inside and they were sitting together and arguing whether bringing ratatouille along to watch in the car would be a good idea or not 

**watermelone:** what the fuck 

**watermelone:** CHENLE WHEN 

**parkjesus:** just now 

**parkjesus:** and we just ran to the car and scored backseats so you can’t kill us without taeyong murdering you first HA 

**parkjesus:** LOSERS 

**kittyy0ng:** chensung gets cookies from kun when wayv gets here 

**chanlay:** HELL YEAHHH

**qiankun:** wait really 

**shortass:** are you perhaps aware that the backseats are the worst 

**chanlay:** that is definitely debatable 

**shortass:** ok fight me 

**chanlay:** _imma beat your ass even harder than how jeno beats you_

 **chanlay:** wait that came out wrong 

**shortass:** omg what the FUCK 

**chartreuseshep:** did i want to read that 

**chartreuseshep:** no 

**chartreuseshep:** but i did anyway UGH 

**chanlay:** thats your fault stupid 

**bigboy:** i can't read chinese

**chanlay:** i don’t think you want to know how

**chartreuseshep:** wait 

**chartreuseshep:** are the cookies taeyong is talking about perhaps the unicorn sparkle cookies that we baked last night 

**qiankun:** i’d assume so ?? 

**qiankun:** i promised taeyong we’d share the cookies 

**chartreuseshep:** oh fuck 

**qiankun:** WHAT 

**qiankun:** DO I NEED TO TURN THE CAR AROUND AGAIN

 **qiankun:** DID WE LEAVE THEM BEHIND 

**chartreuseshep:** um worse 

**qiankun:** ok proceed

**chartreuseshep:** by incredible accident, the very enjoyable company of my beloved acquaintances and i may have very, very, possibly entered the lovely baked delicacies into a world from which they will no longer see light 

**chartreuseshep:** well maybe they will in another form but yeah 

**qiankun:** so what happened 

**chartreuseshep:** i just said 

**qiankun:** YANGYANG IM DRIVING AND TRYING MY BEST TO COMMUNICATE WITH YOU IN THREE DIFFERENT WAYS DON’T TEST MY DIDDLY DARN PATIENCE 

**qiankun:** oops sorry for cursing 

**shortass:** did you just say “diddly darn” 

**qiankun:** SO WHAT IF I DID

  
  


_[_ **_shortass_ ** _has changed_ **_qiankun_ ** _’s username to_ **_boomer_ ** _]_

  
  


**jaememe:** AHAHAAHAHA KUN HYUNG GOT OWNED 

**boomer:** no cookies for u then 

**jaememe:** wait NO

**chartreuseshep:** about that

**shortass:** ge yangyang’s trying to say that nobody’s getting any cookies 

**boomer:** aw i knew we left them behind 

**chanlay:** NO BC WAYV MINUS U ATE THEM ALL 

**watermelone:** BOOM MIC DROP

**haechanbestboy:** mark that was completely and entirely unnecessary 

**boomer:**

**boomer:** you're serious? 

**boomer:** completely serious? 

**chanlay:** no one except the people sitting behind you are getting cookies 

**watermelone:** DAMMIT 

**boomer:** somebody’s about to get their ass BEAT 

  
  


_[_ **_boomer_ ** _has logged off ]_

  
  


**chartreuseshep:** OH SHIT GUYS HES PULLING OVER 

**chartreuseshep:** FUCK 

**chartreuseshep:** AAA]%%{<\>_££€\€\\*]+]

  
  


_[_ **_chartreuseshep_ ** _has logged off ]_

**kittyy0ng:** well 

**watermelone:** YES 

**watermelone:** GUESS WHO JUST FINISHED 

**watermelone:** oh did i just miss something

**boomer:** nah

**parkjesus:**..yangyang? 

**parkjesus:** omg hes dead 

**kittyy0ng:** that’s it we’re starting the 10 minute countdown 

**kittyy0ng:** if anyone ditches, we’re leaving for the airport without u

 **kittyy0ng:** the first unit to get here gets actual prizes for the trip 

**chanlay:** FUCK YEAH WE WIN

**parkjesus:** :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

**haechanbestboy:** DID YOU SAY PRIZES

 **haechanbestboy:** I WANT THEM 

**bigboy:** wait what kinds of prizes

**kittyy0ng:** just get down here 

**kittyy0ng:** did i mention that it has to be the WHOLE unit 

**haechanbestboy:**

**haechanbestboy:** im going back to bed

**kittyy0ng:** OO I SEE SOMEONE SPRINTING DOWN THE STAIRS AND OUT THE DOOR—

 **kittyy0ng:** wait it’s mark

**haechanbestboy:** WHAT 

**haechanbestboy:** THE NERD DID IT FIRST???

**watermelone:** thank u

**kittyy0ng:** johnny doyoung and taeil just got here too 

**kittyy0ng:** ig 127’s gonna win !! 

**chanlay:** NORENMIN PLS STOP FUCKING AROUND WITH EACH OTHER N GET UR ASSES DOWN HERE

**bigboy:** what 

**shortass:** but i dont want a prize 

**jaememe:** how did u know

**chanlay:**.. did all three of u just admit to that @ the same time 

**shortass:** absolutely not 

**jaememe:** maybe 

**bigboy:** yes 

**parkjesus:** on another episode of norenmin’s stupid antics 

**jaememe:** no u 

**kittyy0ng:** oh my lord

**kittyy0ng:**

**kittyy0ng:** i S th is w0r k I ng ??@)!_

**chanlay:** taeyong ??? 

**kittyy0ng:** hello, nct. this is the staff on taeyong’s phone. with all due respect, and on behalf of sm entertainment, please get in the cars. now. or we will limit your visits to the dessert shop down the street. 

**kittyy0ng:** and yes, that means no more ice cream. 

**watermelone:** WAIT

**kittyy0ng:** u heard the staff

**bigboy:** omg they wouldnt

**kittyy0ng:** we totally would, jeno. 

**bigboy:** O.O

**kittyy0ng:** don’t think we won’t. 

**kittyy0ng:** you all have six minutes.

 **kittyy0ng:** XOXO

**bigboy:** coming

**jaememe:** coming

**haechanbestboy:** ok

**shortass:** almost there

**junguwu:** oh pls no

**bunny:** coming w yuta

**yutitty:** we’re going down the stairs

**boomer:** we need to turn one more corner

**yutitty:** hA YALL LOSERS ARENT GETTING THOSE SNACK PRIZES !!! 

**yutitty:** ur in a mf car and still slower than us 

**boomer:** _LIKE I SAID, WE NEED TO TURN ONE MORE CORNER_

**xuxi:** acting like a dick won’t get you anywhere in life bro

**yutitty:** but it got _you_ somewhere though ??

 **yutitty:** am i wrong ??? :) 

**xuxi:**

**xuxi:** dammit the dick wannabe wins 

**yutitty:** do i get a prize

**kittyy0ng:** maybe a beating if you don’t get your ass moving

**yutitty:** oh no i’m so scared !!!! 

**bunny:**

**bunny:** was that the staff or taeyong

**yutitty:** taeyong fs 

**yutitty:** no way i’m letting the staff touch this gorgeous ass of mine

**parkjesus:** either way yuta hyung ur dead lol

**kittyy0ng:** the staff seriously needs to stop taking my phone smh 

**yutitty:** wait 

**kittyy0ng:** what’d they text lmao 

**yutitty:** WAIT 

**kittyy0ng:** WE DON’T WANT YOUR ASS YUTA 

**kittyy0ng:** THAT FLAT SHIT ? NAH 

**bunny:** wait oh mY GOD 

**yutitty:** wtf 

**xuxi:** _THE DICK GOT HIS ASS HANDED TO HIM LMAOO_

**yutitty:** i mean,,, i learn from the best! don’t i, xuxi ? 

**xuxi:** yeah lmao 

**xuxi:** wait u bitch

**kittyy0ng:** alright we’re leaving 

**kittyy0ng:** bye

**haechanbestboy:** WAITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

 **haechanbestboy:** IM HEREIMHEREA];]LL’

 **haechanbestboy:** FUCK IT IM RUNNING 

**jaememe:** wait yall got that on camera right 

**watermelone:** ofc 

**haechanbestboy:** mark please 

**watermelone:** no 

**haechanbestboy:** fine then

 **haechanbestboy:** im gonna make sure this trip will take u straight to hell 

**watermelone:** hyuck we’re literally going to go film a song called highway to heaven 

**haechanbestboy:** idgaf 

**haechanbestboy:** get comfy, mOrk

 **haechanbestboy:** i’d hate for u to get uncomfortable on ur way to hell all of a sudden

 **haechanbestboy:** :((( 

_[ **whatsuhp** has named chat **ROADTRIP HELL** ] _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO HELLO !! IM SURE EVERYONE KNOWS WAYV WILL BE COMING BACK SOON AND IM SUPER PUMPED AND YOU SHOULD BE TOO !!! 
> 
> please support them !! :))


	2. the stuffy boomer virus is spreading !!! TAKE CAUTION

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> chartreuseshep: oh sweet penis  
> chartreuseshep: jesus**  
> chartreuseshep: i MEAN  
> chartreuseshep: we love penis and jesus ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)
> 
> eyebrowGAME: yangyang ur a walking disaster

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> USERNAMES !! i forgot to add them sorry haha 
> 
> watermelone: mark  
> haechanbestboy: hyuck  
> jaememe: jaemin  
> bigboy: jeno  
> parkjesus: jisung  
> chanlay: chenle  
> kittyy0ng: taeyong  
> justpeachy: jaehyun  
> winkwonk: sicheng  
> yutitty: yuta  
> eyebrowGAME: xiaojun  
> chartreuseshep: yangyang  
> boomer: kun  
> junguwu: jungwoo  
> ceomoon: taeil  
> xuxi: lucas  
> shortass: renjun  
> whatsuhp: johnny  
> fruitninja: ten  
> bunny: doyoung  
> disneyreject: hendery

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_johnny suh, xiao dejun, +19 others_

_5:30 AM_

**kittyy0ng:** everyone sleep well ???

**parkjesus:** not anymore 

**kittyy0ng:** well today we depart from the city into our first state 

**kittyy0ng:** from san francisco up to oregon !! 

**kittyy0ng:** who’s excited ???

**kittyy0ng:** i texted that five minutes ago and still no one is awake

 **kittyy0ng:** HEY 

**kittyy0ng:** WAKE 

**kittyy0ng:** UP 

**kittyy0ng:** WE 

**kittyy0ng:** GOTTA 

**kittyy0ng:** GO 

**winkwonk:** HYUNG STOP 

**yutitty:** omg winwin’s awake ? that means i’m awake (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

**whatsuhp:** oh god yuta’s starting this shit again ? that means i’m going back to sleep ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

**kittyy0ng:** not if i can help it 

**whatsuhp:** taeyong PLEASE

**kittyy0ng:** would u rather me drag you out of bed or have a staff member hold up their phone in your ear with lee sooman on the line 

**whatsuhp:** hm tOUgH cHOicE 

**kittyy0ng:** omg mr. sooman, what a surprise ! 

**kittyy0ng:** he’s calling me :) 

**whatsuhp:** mmhm

 **whatsuhp:** wait were u actually serious 

**watermelone:** oMG HYUNG DONT TELL ME TAEYONG ACTUALLY GOT HIM ON THE PHONE

**whatsuhp:** well

 **whatsuhp:** no one else screams like that at ungodly hours 

**whatsuhp:** WHY CAN I HEAR HIM ON UR PHONE FROM MY ROOM

**kittyy0ng:** open up xiaojun 

**eyebrowGAME:** WHY ME 

**eyebrowGAME:** WHY NOT THE 19 OTHER PEOPLE IN THIS DAMN GROUP 

**kittyy0ng:** ill leave once u get out the door 

**kittyy0ng:** that goes for you too lucas 

**xuxi:** HOW DID YOU KNOW 

**kittyy0ng:** you’re roommates

**chartreuseshep:** AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES 

**kittyy0ng:** oh yangyang is awake but i don’t see him out of his room ??  
 **kittyy0ng:** perhaps i should check ? 

**chartreuseshep:** TARGET EVERYONE ELSE 

**chartreuseshep:** ANYONE BUT THIS LITTLE CHINESE BOY PLEASE WHAT THE FUCK 

**kittyy0ng:** oh no he hung up 

**chartreuseshep:** oh sweet penis 

**chartreuseshep:** jesus** 

**chartreuseshep:** i MEAN

 **chartreuseshep:** we love penis and jesus( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

**eyebrowGAME:** yangyang ur a walking disaster

**whatsuhp:** hey mark you can come out from under the bed now 

**whatsuhp:** mark ? 

**whatsuhp:** omg 

**haechanbestboy:** is he dead 

**haechanbestboy:** FUCKING FINALLYYYYYYY

**watermelone:** HEY >:(

 **watermelone:** no i’m in YOUR room to snap YOUR neck 

**haechanbestboy:** liar 

**watermelone:** am i lying though ? 

**haechanbestboy:** wAIT SHIT0][[P[P-*^*289-3][][;;9{Pp]-008097093

**kittyy0ng:**.. someone pls check on them

**chanlay:** ugh since yall are cowards i volunteer 

**eyebrowGAME:** no one said anything-

**chanlay:** i’m going in to investigate 

**chanlay:** lord jesus please bless me with holiness as i venture in 

**xuxi:** why do i get the feeling that something’s going to go wrong 

**chanlay:** oH MY FUCKING GOD 

**chanlay:** HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

**kittyy0ng:** what’s wrong ??????

 **kittyy0ng:** STOP SCREAMING WE’RE IN A HOTEL 

**chanlay:** < _image failed to send > _

**chanlay:** < _image failed to send > _

**chanlay:** WHY 

**parkjesus:** did u walk in on them aggressively kissing each other again 

**chanlay:** thankfully NOT this time 

**yutitty:** this time ???

**chanlay:** MARK’S GOT HAECHAN HYUNG CORNERED AGAINST THE BEDFRAME WITH A FUCKING CONDOM IN HIS HAND AND IT LOOKS LIKE MARK’S TRYING SOME KINKY SHIT WITH IT HELPPPPPP

**eyebrowGAME:** WHY did u take a picture 

**kittyy0ng:** I THOUGHT TAEIL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE THOUGH ??? 

**chanlay:** U MEAN A THREESOME ???????

**kittyy0ng:** _N O_

**ceomoon:** don’t u dare drag me into this 

**watermelone:** wAIT STOP STOP STOTP

 **watermelone:** U GOT IT ALL WRONG 

**watermelone:** I FOUND THIS DUSTY ASS CONDOM UNDER MY BED IN THE ROOM I SHARED W HYUNG 

**watermelone:** SO I SNUCK INTO HYUCK AND TAEIL HYUNG’S ROOM TO SHOW IT TO HIM AND WE TRIPPED OVER EACH OTHER AND I ENDED UP ALMOST STRANGLING HIM WITH IT 

**xuxi:** mark rlly be hunting for condoms under a crusty bed in A HOTEL BC HES FUCKING BROKE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**whatsuhp:** are we supposed to believe that 

**watermelone:** no 

**watermelone:** I MEAN YES 

**watermelone:** stupid autocorrect 

**haechanbestboy:** wow just android tingz 

**watermelone:** shut up >:(

**parkjesus:** wow theyre flirting right after that show they put on 

**parkjesus:** ever heard of self control ? 

**haechanbestboy:** i’m losing the _self_ control to not wring ur fucking neck 

**parkjesus:** wow look at a hyung cursing at the baby 

**parkjesus:** smh

**kittyy0ng:** guys stop 

**kittyy0ng:** the vans are gone 

**watermelone:** WHAT 

**whatsuhp:** oh we’re dead

**haechanbestboy:** wait hyung wdym i literally just saw them 

**haechanbestboy:** are you sure they’re not just around the corner or in a parking garage or something 

**kittyy0ng:** i’m literally outside and i see nothing 

**boomer:** but how though ? i thought they were there a few mins ago ? 

**kittyy0ng:** me too but ig not anymore 

**yutitty:** call mr sooman !! 

**kittyy0ng:** what’s he gonna do about it? and i don’t really want to bother him again 

**whatsuhp:** so what do we do 

**kittyy0ng:** ok here’s what we’re gonna do

 **kittyy0ng:** i’m being very serious this time **@all**

 **kittyy0ng:** everyone meet in the lobby in 20. i’m getting the staff we have here together and we’re all going to come up with a reasonable plan to get out of this situation

 **kittyy0ng:** and maybe find some answers 

**kittyy0ng:** get going **@all**

**_mean lean dream team !! ( & mark)_ **

_na jaemin, park jisung, +5 others_

_5:47 AM_

**chanlay: @** **watermelone** hey u know smth about this ? 

**watermelone:** uh no 

**watermelone:** i’m still uh preoccupied with something atm so i didn’t even know until taeyong said 

**chanlay:** really 

**jaememe:** mark’s occupied with HYUCK that’s what LMFAOOOOO

**watermelone:** stfu 

**watermelone:** no i’m just looking for my favorite pair of pants dammit 

**bigboy:** omg guys what are we gonna do 

**bigboy:** the van has POOFED

**chanlay:** please don’t 

**parkjesus:** what if we’re just freaking out for no reason though 

**parkjesus:** like this could just be a prank that the staff is pulling

 **parkjesus:** ,, UNLESS 

**chanlay:** omg do u smell an iNVeStIGaTiOn

**shortass:** definitely not 

**jaememe:** OH YES 

**parkjesus:** THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING **@chanlay**

**haechanbestboy:** sAY WHAT NOW

**bigboy:** YEAH BRO THAT SOUNDS LIT 

**jaememe:** **@bigboy** dont omg 

**watermelone:** wait guys aren’t we supposed to go down to the lobby as soon as possible 

**chanlay:** what’s the big deal man 

**haechanbestboy:** ugh nojam you’re ruining the vibes of this whole experience 

**haechanbestboy:** what’s the rush 

**watermelone:** i’m just saying we have only 15 minutes left until we gotta go 

**watermelone:** i never said i didn’t want to investigate at all ;) 

**jaememe:** on second thought

 **jaememe:** i don’t wanna investigate anymore if mark’s gonna be here

**chanlay:** yeah u right ugh 

**parkjesus:** the stuffy boomer virus is spreading !!! TAKE CAUTION

**watermelone:**????? BRUH 

**jaememe:** we’re just kidding markie 

**jaememe:** but fr don’t use a winky face when saying u want to investigate 

**watermelone:** why? 

**watermelone:** oh 

**watermelone:** but what if i want to find out more ;)))))))))))))

_[_ **_parkjesus_ ** _has left the chat ]_

_[_ **_jaememe_ ** _has added_ **_parkjesus_ ** _to the chat ]_

**parkjesus:** FRICKING JAEMIN 

**jaememe:** <333333333333333333333333333333

**chanlay:** anyways everyone come to my room asap we need to discuss our strategy on the investigation

**bigboy:** omw 

**bigboy:** and i have renjun with me 

**shortass:** I WAS TAKEN WITHOUT MY CONSENT 

**shortass:** HELP 

**chanlay:** hm how about no 

**shortass:** _fucking disgrace_

**chanlay:** _RUDE_

 **chanlay:** _ARE U REALLY COMPLAINING ABOUT UR SITUATION RN THOUGH ;))))_

**shortass:** _i’m whooping your ass upon arrival_

**chanlay:** _SO THAT’S A NO ??_

**shortass:** STOP 

**bigboy:** guys i can’t read chinese 

**chanlay:** dw about it lol 

**parkjesus:** dude there’s something called ✿.:* ☆:**:. google translate.:**:.☆*:.✿ 

**bigboy:** OH YEAH 

**shortass:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**chanlay:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**shortass:** JISUNG U FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT 

**parkjesus:** whatd i do 

**bigboy:** gASP 

**bigboy:** RENJUN ARE U SAYING U LIKE BEING CARRIED 

**chanlay:** _GE HE’S FUCKING CARRYING YOU ?????_

 **chanlay:** THIS JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER 

**shortass:** yEAH AND WHAT ARE U GONNA DO ABOUT IT JENO 

**bigboy:** THATS SO CUTE OMG I’D LOVE TO CARRY U EVERYWHERE HEHE 

**shortass:** w h a t 

**parkjesus:** keep the pda down at a level pls 

**bigboy:** jealous ? 

**parkjesus:** HA U WISH 

**bigboy:** lele we’re at ur door 

**jaememe:** so has anyone actually seen markhyuck 

**shortass:** omg now that i think about it 

**parkjesus:** WAIT BET MARK KILLED HIM FOR REAL THIS TIME 

**watermelone:** omg how’d u know hahahaha

**haechanbestboy:** yeah marks hands are hot but id rlly prefer them AWAY from my throat thank u <3 

**jaememe:** wait wtf did u just say 

**jaememe:** “ YEAH MARK’S HANDS ARE HOT ” ????

**haechanbestboy:** shit

 **haechanbestboy:** how do u delete ur messages on this app

**parkjesus:** o m g 

**chanlay:** BRUH HYUCK OML 

**watermelone:** W H A T 

**haechanbestboy:** dw i meant that platonically !!! as in best friend rights platonically !! 

**shortass:** or as in u literally made an effort to sit 5 ft apart from mark in the hot tub last night bc “ ur not gay ” 

**shortass:** IT WAS A FUCKING EFFORT 

**shortass:** do u have some hand fetish too wtf

**haechanbestboy:** i DID IT FOR THE VINE STOP ATTACKING ME 

**chanlay:** rip vine :( 

**parkjesus:** yo we’re wasting time MARKHYUCK WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU 

**watermelone:** i’m almost there 

**watermelone:** idk about hyuck tho

**haechanbestboy:** try looking behind u 

**haechanbestboy:** once a grandpa, always a grandpa

 **haechanbestboy:** u move so fucking slow 

**haechanbestboy:** LITERALLY WALK FASTER ! UR HOGGING SPACE 

  
  


**watermelone:** FBI OPEN UP 

**haechanbestboy:** mark please dont 

**chanlay:** TOOK U LONG ENOUGH 

**jaememe:** u couldve said that out loud bro 

**chanlay:** well i DIDN’T >:) 

**chanlay:** now let’s get this shit DONE 

  
  
  
  
  


**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_moon taeil, leechaiyapornkul chittaphon, +19 others_

_6:10 AM_

**whatsuhp:** yo where are the dreamies + mark 

**kittyy0ng:** i knew i shouldn’t have let them go off on their own 

**yutitty:** y i k e s 

**kittyy0ng:** well okay it’s their loss

 **kittyy0ng:** they won’t get their van passes 

**chanlay:** WAIT NO 

**parkjesus:** CRAP WHERES THE LOBBY I CANT FIN D IT 

**watermelone:** how did i just lose half of dream 

**whatsuhp:** you WHAT 

**watermelone:** bEFORE YOU SAY ANYTHING

 **watermelone:** I SWEAR THEY WERE ALL BEHIND ME AT SOME POINT IN TIME AGO 

**kittyy0ng:** some leader you are 

**watermelone:** I GRADUATED A LONG TIME AGO WDYM 

**parkjesus:** guys i can’t find it help 

**shortass:** read the directory

**parkjesus:** i can’t read english 

**parkjesus:** mark sucks at teaching english 

**parkjesus:** the only word i actually know is _“hahaha”_

**parkjesus:** and that was because he said it every other word in a sentence

**whatsuhp:** jisung ..

 **whatsuhp:** that’s not english 

**parkjesus:** can i get my money back @ mark

**watermelone:** no 

**watermelone:** well at least i’m here with hyuck jun and jen 

**jaememe:** had to leave me behind huh guys 

**chanlay:** you can chaperone for us :D

**jaememe:** no i choose life thanks 

**fruitninja:** wait jaemin don’t you speak english 

**chanlay:** TEN HYUNG U GENIUS 

**chanlay:** we’re saved !!!!!

**jaememe:** i do ? 

**boomer:** well you didn’t spend almost 2 months in that english boot camp for nothing right 

**jaememe:** uhhh

 **jaememe:** you’re right 

**jaememe:** except i spent 2 months suffering only to forget everything a week after it ended LMAOOOOO

**parkjesus:** oh never mind we’re going to hell instead 

**parkjesus:** we’re never getting out of here

 **parkjesus:** ヽ(；▽；)ノ

**whatsuhp:** explain fireflies then jaemin

**jaememe:** to quote our favorite little boy donghyuck lee, 

**jaememe:** “ dadadada bubu, dadadada bubu, don’t gotta sing dada blues ” 

**haechanbestboy:** i definitely have never said that 

**jaememe:** i can mla citate it if you’d like

**haechanbestboy:** gtfo 

**bunny:** WAIT THAT LOOKS LIKE CHENLE 

**chanlay:**???

**bunny:** look at where i’m waving my arms IDIOT 

**kittyy0ng:** we’ve stalled for long enough come on 

**kittyy0ng:** get your asses over here 

  
  
  


**_mean lean dream team !! ( & mark)_ **

_mark lee, zhong chenle, +5 others_

_6:59 AM_

**watermelone:** hold on.. guys are my hands actually hot ? 

**bigboy:** do i have to answer truthfully

**parkjesus:** NO

**chanlay:** no 

**jaememe:** no 

**shortass:** no 

**haechanbestboy:** no

**jaememe:** hyuck hesitated 

**haechanbestboy:** WDYMMMMMM

**jaememe:** i’m literally sitting right next to yo U(*)(#*T%*}P|}:!  
  


 **watermelone:** jaemin ? 

**bigboy:** ooh he d e a d 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt generous so i updated another chapter !! 
> 
> this probably won't happen again haha ;) 
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated !! <3


	3. so.. oregon, huh?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> junguwu: is it too late to jump out the van now 
> 
> haechanbestboy: sadly  
> haechanbestboy: yes 
> 
> watermelone: there go my weekend plans ugh 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE SLIGHT ANGST/ REAL DRAMA WILL BEGIN IN THE NEXT CHAPTER
> 
> AND YES I AM AWARE MY CHAPTER TITLES SUCK LMAO :') 
> 
> also a/n: i will be posting each chapter with a different time stamp just to drag it out a bit.. and it DOES work consecutively by hour/day, so if this chapter is set in the morning, the next may be set in the afternoon/evening on the same day. 
> 
> i'll let you guys know ?

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_lee taeyong, wong yukhei, +19 others_

_7:16 AM_

**xuxi:** so .. oregon, huh 

**fruitninja:** stfu 

**xuxi:** rude 

**haechanbestboy:** i CAN’T believe i have to sit next to mark lee 

**haechanbestboy:** THIS IS PREJUDICE AGAINST ME 

**watermelone:** when will you stop 

**ceomoon:** to be fair none of us said you HAD to 

**haechanbestboy:** i’m moving to canada

**jaememe:** omg why do u have to be so dramatic all the time

 **jaememe:** just admit ur in love with ur best friend !! 

**haechanbestboy:** who ?

**watermelone:** that’s it i’m jumping out this damn van 

**haechanbestboy:** sit yo ass down 

**watermelone:** @ **kittyy0ng** TAEYONG PLEASE CHANGE THE SEAT ARRANGEMENTS 

**watermelone:** I’M FUCKING DYING 

**kittyy0ng:** no 

**kittyy0ng:** the vans have been organized already with the best intention of keeping the member personality balanced so we don’t crash a car

 **kittyy0ng:** i’m sending it again so u can see just how we organized it 

**kittyy0ng:**

_VAN A- jisung, kun, taeil, xiaojun, chenle, dongyoung, yangyang_

_VAN B- yuta, jungwoo, donghyuck, sicheng, lucas, mark, jaemin_

_VAN C- jeno, renjun, ten, taeyong, hendery, johnny, yoonoh_

**kittyy0ng:** no changes either 

**fruitninja:** why the fuck would you put xuxi and mark together 

**fruitninja:** they’re gonna light something on fire 

**yutitty:** SOMEONE SAVE ME IT’S A FUCKING ZOO IN HERE 

**whatsuhp:** u literally put the loudest members minus chenle and the wayv babies in the same car taeyong 

**yutitty:** S O S 

**kittyy0ng:** calm down nothing will happen im sure 

**yutitty:** FUCK MY SHIRTS ON FIREE EEEE!@o@@(@!e!@+’AS;[QP[P=

**fruitninja:** I LITERALLY SAID - 

**kittyy0ng:** hOW DID HIS SHIRT LIGHT ON FIRE 

**winkwonk:** donghyuck tried to slap mark but ended up hitting jungwoo 

**winkwonk:** jungwoo fell into xuxi 

**winkwonk:** xuxi was holding a lighter bc he wanted to impress jungwoo with a “ magic trick ” he learned from kun 

**winkwonk:** the hand that was holding the lighter was slapped to the side where yuta and i were sitting and his shirt caught on fire 

**winkwonk:** we put it out though thank goodness 

**yutitty:** MY TITS ARE ON FIRE 

**xuxi:** IM SORRY HYUNG 

**yutitty:** YOU LIT MY FUCKING TITTIES ON FIRE 

**winkwonk:** YUTA CALM DOWN IT WASN’T YOUR CHEST JUST YOUR SIDE 

**yutitty:** my tITTIESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**whatsuhp:** what the fuck 

**jaememe:** can i jump out the van with mark 

**kittyy0ng:** NO 

**kittyy0ng:** and @ yuta im gonna go with what sicheng said and assume it wasn’t that bad of a situation 

**kittyy0ng:** calm down 

**yutitty:** YOU TRY LIGHTING YOUR NIPPLES ON FIRE THEN 

**kittyy0ng:**

**kittyy0ng:** i’ll pass

**yutitty:** SEE

**jaememe:** i took a peek and it looks okay 

**boomer:** phew 

**jaememe:** his titties, i mean 

**whatsuhp:**

**whatsuhp:** why did i expect an actual answer

 **whatsuhp:** i feel so disappointed and i have no idea why 

**boomer:** and the actual person ??

**jaememe:** oh he’s still screaming 

**boomer:** someone please help the driver out 

**winkwonk:** jaemin, mark, and i tried 

**winkwonk:** but hyuck, lucas, and yuta went nuts 

**winkwonk:** then jungwoo joined in with crack and uh 

**kittyy0ng:** so you’re telling me not even the three of you could hold them back 

**kittyy0ng:** wait CRACK ???????

**whatsuhp:**.. is he speaking metaphorically or realistically

**boomer:** give them credit for at least trying lol 

**boomer:** those four are feral 

**chanlay:** what does feral mean 

**shortass:** it means donghyuck 

**haechanbestboy:** have some RESPECT 

**haechanbestboy:** i’m trying my best 

**watermelone:** that’s definitely not true 

**bigboy:** yeah imma have to agree with him on that 

**bigboy:** which is weird

 **bigboy:** cause that never happens

**chanlay:**

**feral |** adjective

**fe·ral | \ ˈfir-əl , ˈfer-; ˈfe-rəl \**

_not domesticated or cultivated :_ WILD

**boomer:** seriously 

**chanlay:** oh ur right it does mean donghyuck 

**haechanbestboy:** F R I C K U 

**bunny:** why isn’t he swearing 

**bunny:** that’s a bit concerning 

**xuxi:** he said he was “taking a break” 

**parkjesus:** why ? so jesus can finally love him ? 

**haechanbestboy:**

**haechanbestboy:** well ur not wrong 

**whatsuhp:** not even jesus wants him HAHA 

**haechanbestboy:** accept me pls 

**parkjesus:** no 

**bigboy:** i bet its because of mark lmao

**haechanbestboy:** MARK SAID CHRISTIANS ARENT SUPPOSED TO SWEAR

**shortass:** he swears too wtf 

**haechanbestboy:** but he specifically said he’s done with my ass bc his “christian mindcraft server doesn’t tolerate swearing” 

**disneyreject:** "MINDCRAFT" SJKDJSKSNS??????

 **disneyreject:** didn't you say you were from america mark 

**justpeachy:** canada 

**chartreuseshep:** aren't they like... the same thing...

**boomer:** NO ?????

 **boomer:** yangyang wtf 😭

**watermelone:** bruh 

**watermelone:** that was a joke 

**haechanbestboy:** HOW SHOULD I KNOW I DONT SPEAK ENGLISH 

**whatsuhp:** _MARK YOU REALLY PULLED THAT ON HIM WHAT THE HELL HAHAHAHAHA_

**watermelone:** _I DIDN’T THINK HE’D FALL FOR IT OMG_

**whatsuhp:** _YOU REALLY REFERENCED A MEME FOR THIS I AM SO PROUD_

**watermelone:** _I AM TOO ;-;_

**chanlay:** we can’t speak or read english guys 

**jaememe:** haha take that l 

**xuxi:** why would i want to take an i 

**jaememe:**.. that’s an l 

**xuxi:** yeah that’s what i said too 

**xuxi:** it’s an uppercase i 

**jaememe:** nO TAKE THAT L 

**xuxi:** WHYD U CHANGE IT TO AN L 

**jaememe:** IT WAS AN L IN THE FIRST PLACE BRUH 

**xuxi:** ITS AN I WTF 

**chartreuseshep:** it’s an l 

**chartreuseshep:** since ur so uncultured i’m not surprised u don’t get it 

**xuxi:** who, me ? 

**xuxi:** mE ??? UNCULTURED ???

**chartreuseshep:** yes u 

**boomer:** idk what “take the l” means 

**xuxi:** boomer

**chartreuseshep:** [ one point for cultural understanding awarded to lucas wong ]

**xuxi:** YES HAHA TAKE THAT I KUN 

**chartreuseshep:**

**chartreuseshep:** never mind 

**watermelone:** WE STILL HAVE 11 HOURS LEFT UNTIL WE GET TO PORTLAND AAAAAA

 **watermelone:** I HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO SATAN FOR 11 MORE HOURS 

**kittyy0ng:** yeah but look at the ocean 

**kittyy0ng:** it’s gorgeous

**fruitninja:** i look better 

**chartreuseshep:** [ loudly disagrees ]

**justpeachy:** i heard that we’re gonna stop at a rest stop halfway through

**watermelone:** ah really 

**watermelone:** for how long 

**justpeachy:** probably around 15-30 mins ? idk 

**shortass:** that’s more than enough time for me to throw myself into the water and drown 

**whatsuhp:** dude are you okay 

**shortass:** what does it look like 

**bigboy:** SEA LIONS

**bunny:** what 

**bigboy:** RIGHT THERE 

**chanlay:** OH MY GOD 

**chanlay:** < _image sent > _

**chanlay:** < _image sent > _

**chanlay:** < _image sent > _

**chanlay:** aren’t they cute 

**parkjesus:** not as cute as you 

**chanlay:** what

 **chanlay:** jisung 

**chanlay:** park jisung 

**chanlay:**????? 

**chanlay:** (o・・o)/ ?????

 **chanlay:** what the fuck ????

**jaememe:** he’s going into gay panic HAHAHAHA 

**parkjesus:** i’m so sorry renjun stole my phone so 

**shortass:** i’m not even in your car 

**chanlay:** jisung i’m in the same damn car as you 

**kittyy0ng:** does anyone wanna go live 

**ceomoon:** this chat is so chaotic 

**chanlay:** we’re having this conversation LATER @ **parkjesus**

**jaememe:** wow that’s aggressive

**justpeachy:** we can do instagram 

**boomer:** we can film content for any videos that might be released later ig

**kittyy0ng:** anyone for vlive ? 

**xuxi:** US 

**xuxi:** OUR CAR CALLS VLIVE

**yutitty:** AW YESS 

**junguwu:** is it too late to jump out the van now 

**haechanbestboy:** sadly

 **haechanbestboy:** yes 

**watermelone:** there go my weekend plans ugh 

**whatsuhp:** u guys definitely are not ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi if you're still keeping up with this fic kudos !! 
> 
> idk what this crackhead chatfic really is supposed to be but i hope you guys like it so far :) 
> 
> you're all amazing !!! ily all so much :)


	4. operation markhyuck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> boomer: we just gotta give them support and little pushes in the right direction !
> 
> justpeachy: we can do this guys !!
> 
> chanlay: operation markhyuck is a go ahaha 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst: on 
> 
> [ set on the same day as the previous chapter ]
> 
> MARKHYUCK SUMMER FIGHT 2.0

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_lee jeno, liu yangyang, +19 others_

_6:46 PM_

**eyebrowGAME:** guys i think hendery just fell into the water 

**boomer:** I HAVEN’T EVEN GOTTEN OUT OF THE CAR YET 

**kittyy0ng:** why did i agree to this trip 

**boomer:** WELL SOMEONE SAVE HIM 

**chartreuseshep:** not it lol

**xuxi:** wait someone fell into the water ????

**shortass:** YOUR OWN GROUP MEMBER DUMBASS

**boomer:** SOMEONE GET HIM 

**chartreuseshep:** U DO IT THEN OLD MAN 

**boomer:** W H A T D I D Y O U C A L L M E 

**chartreuseshep:** I SAID WHAT I SAID 

**boomer:** you’re disowned 

**chartreuseshep:** great 

**chartreuseshep:** WAIT A!@@$($!@({s”sSW}!#!39o12892182 (@(@(#(((

**parkjesus:** bRUH HE JUST PUSHED YANGYANG INTO THE WATER

**winkwonk:** oh my god IS THERE ANY RESPONSIBLE ADULT WITH COMMON SENSE AND ACTUAL MATURITY THAT CAN HELP OUT HERE 

**bunny:** i’m afraid you’re looking at the wrong group of men my guy 

**ceomoon:** can i leave sm entertainment

**winkwonk:** i’m coming with u 

**ceomoon:** you’re welcome to be my guest :)

**yutitty:** nOT ON MY WATCH 

**justpeachy:** FFS 

**bigboy:** yoonoh HYUNG JUST DOVE IN 

**shortass:** where the hell is the staff in this au 

**bigboy:** i think they gave up on us too 

**chanlay:** AS THEY SHOULD 

**kittyy0ng:** oh my god.

 **kittyy0ng:** we’re hopeless. 

**chartreuseshep:** see for a second there i thought you said HOMELESS and i was like DAMN RIGHT HAHAHA 

**chartreuseshep:** SM ENT WHO ??? AHAHAHA 

**chartreuseshep:** haha 

**chartreuseshep:** :(

**eyebrowGAME:** how are you okay 

**eyebrowGAME:** you just got PUSHED into the ocean 

**chartreuseshep:** that’s the thing tho 

**chartreuseshep:** i’m NOT okay 

**disneyreject:** honestly i figured as much 

**watermelone:** hendery ? are you good 

**disneyreject:** yeah dw i can swim 

**disneyreject:** unlike that lil baby over there 

**chartreuseshep:** HA THAT’S BOLD 

**chartreuseshep:** coming from the DISNEY REJECT 

**disneyreject:** FIRST OF ALL 

**disneyreject:** DISNEY DIDN’T REJECT ME BC I NEVER APPLIED TO THEM AT ALL

**chartreuseshep:** ahh.. really sucks you couldn’t be successful in the end :(

**disneyreject:** you’re one to talk lmaoo 

**disneyreject:** KUN GE PUSH HIM IN AGAIN 

**fruitninja:** both of you are idols in the music industry wtf

**justpeachy:** i should’ve just let the both of you drown

**chartreuseshep:** ok if ur not a reject then what happened with the name 

**disneyreject:** you happened 

**chartreuseshep:** hm i guess that’s fair 

**kittyy0ng:** can we move on now 

**kittyy0ng:** we’re here at a scenic view point and BC OF WAYV, we’re down to ONLY 15 minutes of free time here at the beach

**fruitninja:** DAMN IT WAYV

 **fruitninja:** oh wait

**whatsuhp:** it’s gorgeous here 

**whatsuhp:** _ < image sent > _

**whatsuhp:** look at the golden glittering water wow 

**whatsuhp:** and the sky is pretty much clear too which is literally a miracle 

**kittyy0ng:** um also try not to die 

**haechanbestboy:** TOO LATE 

**watermelone:** U MF IDIOT COME BACK HERE 

**bigboy:** markhyuck just dove into the waves 

**bigboy:** are they ok

**junguwu:** it looks like they’re wrestling but whatever 

**parkjesus:** five bucks hyuck wins this time 

**disneyreject:**.. how are you all so calm 

**boomer:** it’s typical “ adolescents going through puberty ” behavior

**justpeachy:** wait they went under 

**chanlay:** jisung u better be ready to cough up my money 

**xuxi:** OOOOOOOOH SHIT DID U SEE HYUCK’S SLAPPPPPPPP HAHAHAHAHA

**kittyy0ng:** i’m literally raising idiots 

**bunny:** to be fair they were already idiots in the first place

 **bunny:** the little struggling braincell in their minds can’t be fixed 

**parkjesus:** SOMEONE’S COMING OUT 

**fruitninja:** I’M GAY AND I HATE FUCKING FRUITS 

**parkjesus:** nOT WHAT I MEANT BUT OKAY 

**chanlay:** it’s.. 

**chanlay:** what the fuck 

**parkjesus:** well that’s disappointing

**winkwonk:** how is it that both of them are alive at this point

**bigboy:** they look like they both have injuries 

**shortass:** HAHAHAHAHAHA

**jaememe:** i c a n ' t b e l i e v e 

**jaememe:** THEIR PHONES ARE DONE FOR 

**whatsuhp:** i can’t fucking believe i forgot to take my phone out - mark 

**yutitty:** damn bruh that’s tough 

**bunny:** where’s hyuck going

 **bunny:** he looks so pissed omg 

**ceomoon:** maybe the bathroom 

**ceomoon:** he IS soaking wet from head to toeEjkN@#32P1@@$(@9927092091`)!_!`

**fruitninja:** then where’s mark going .. ? 

**ceomoon:** it’s all your fault lee minhyung - h 

**whatsuhp:** HOW ??? I HAD TO RUN AFTER YOUR ASS - mark 

**ceomoon:** YOU DIDN’T HAVE TO - h 

**whatsuhp:** HOW COULD I NOT ?? U LITERALLY COULD’VE GOTTEN KILLED. TIDES ARE HIGH RN AND IT’S GETTING DARKER BY THE MINUTE AND HOW TF DO I KNOW IF U KNOW HOW TO SWIM ?? BESIDES, TAEYONG SAID NOT TO GET KILLED U ASSHOLE - mark 

**ceomoon:** ofc i know how to swim u idiot. u’ve literally known me for this long and u still don’t know ? - h 

**whatsuhp:** wow i’m SO sorry for not remembering if you knew how to do something that i have NEVER IN MY LIFE seen you do ??? - mark 

**ceomoon:** j leave me alone 

**ceomoon:** u don’t always have to tag along like some babysitter 

**ceomoon:** i’m literally a grown ass man and i can take care of myself ty

 **ceomoon:** it annoys the shit out of me every single time u do it

 **ceomoon:** and look where we are now- stealing our hyungs’ phones because YOU MESSED UP and started fighting me -h 

**whatsuhp:** so now you’re blaming me for something you started ? - mark 

**ceomoon:** OH MY GOD seriously get it in ur fucking head dude

 **ceomoon:** u could’ve let me run off and maybe i would’ve come back with an at least salvageable phone but now i’m fucking COLD and WET and TIRED and HUNGRY and my phone is GONE because U insisted on fighting me in the water when i could’ve come back to shore instead 

**ceomoon:** AND U MADE ME GET A SAMSUNG GALAXY 

**ceomoon:** I SHOULD’VE GOTTEN A GODDAMN IPHONE 

**ceomoon:** THIS MODEL ISN’T EVEN FULLY WATERPROOF - h 

**whatsuhp:** you wanted to copy me for god knows what reason 

**whatsuhp:** that wasn’t my fault - mark

 **whatsuhp:** and i went into the water to GET YOUR ASS OUT. i never intended to fight you and you slapped me first. what was i supposed to do ? try to drag you back to shore while you kept hitting me ? - mark

**ceomoon:** u honestly think i’m a fucking joke

 **ceomoon:** right, mark ? 

**ceomoon:** u always think that i constantly do stupid shit that could get me hurt or whatever and that i have no guilty conscience or idea what the fuck i’m doing can do to damage me 

**ceomoon:** i do reckless shit but that doesn’t make me entirely stupid like u think i am

 **ceomoon:** next time u try to be a hero don’t come after me - h

**whatsuhp:** whatever 

**whatsuhp:** and quit being dramatic

 **whatsuhp:** but it’s not like you ever think of me as someone you truly cared about either 

**whatsuhp:** why should i listen to you when you’re the one constantly ignoring my needs ?? i’m always trying my best to listen to what you need but you don’t even see the effort that i’m putting in to make you satisfied 

**whatsuhp:** when have you ever done anything to make me happy on my end 

**whatsuhp:** it’s all for your own satisfaction and pleasure, huh ?

 **whatsuhp:** all of my actions towards you as a friend were taken without gratitude or gratefulness because you never truly cared about me

 **whatsuhp:** i put so much effort into making u smile

 **whatsuhp:** but you never cared in the first place 

**whatsuhp:** some friend you are 

**whatsuhp:** you’re fucking heartless. - mark

**ceomoon:** whatever

 **ceomoon:** i can't forgive you for what you did

  
  
 **whatsuhp:** why are you making this about you rn

  
  
 **ceomoon:** no

 **ceomoon:** ur literally NOT listening to me

 **ceomoon:** this isn't about me or you individually

 **ceomoon:** if you had these issues why didn't you just tell me in the first place

 **ceomoon:** why now

 **ceomoon** : in front of everyone

 **ceomoon:** we're a team mark

 **ceomoon:** best friends

 **ceomoon:** and i j don't understand WHY you're putting yourself in the spotlight when our friendship is on the line

  
  
 **whatsuhp:** so you're saying you're okay with losing me then

  
  
 **ceomoon:** NO

 **ceomoon:** i

 **ceomoon:** yes

 **ceomoon:** fuck you mark

 **ceomoon:** i don't know how many times i have to say it to get it through your thick ass skull

  
  
 **whatsuhp:** don't even insult me rn

**ceomoon:** whatever

 **ceomoon:** i guess ur still a bitch after all these years 

**whatsuhp:** look who’s talking 

**ceomoon:** u rlly wanna try me ?

**whatsuhp:** you couldn’t land a measly punch even if your life depended on it 

**ceomoon:** DROP UR FUCKING LOCATION. 

**ceomoon:** I DARE U

**junguwu:** OKAYYYYYYY

 **junguwu:** BREAK IT UP 

**whatsuhp:** THIS IS JOHNNY 

**whatsuhp:** HI I’VE MISSED YOU GUYS 

**justpeachy:** you were gone for 10 mins dude what 

**shortass:** that was so dramatic omg 

**kittyy0ng:**

_VAN A- jisung, kun, hendery, xiaojun, chenle, dongyoung, yangyang_

_VAN B- yuta, jungwoo, donghyuck, sicheng, lucas, taeil, jaemin_

_VAN C- jeno, renjun, ten, taeyong, mark, johnny, yoonoh_

**kittyy0ng:** mark will move to VAN C, hendery will move to VAN A, taeil will move to VAN B, and hyuck will stay in VAN B

 **kittyy0ng:** also i know they can’t see this but i’m just recording it here in the chat anyways- they’ll be getting new phones in a few days to at least 3 weeks here in america

**ceomoon:** oh thank god 

**jaememe:** just as a suggestion though 

**jaememe:** those who are sitting with markhyuck should give them space first, but if they want to open up, let them 

**jaememe:** we don’t want markhyuck to be in a fight this entire trip 

**kittyy0ng:** jaemin’s right 

**kittyy0ng:** we should leave them to figure this out on their own 

**kittyy0ng:** but it’s also okay to be there for them if they need someone 

**kittyy0ng:** this goes to not just VAN B and C, but everyone else as well. as nct, we should want to protect everyone in our group, as we are not just groupmates but friends- even family. it’s okay for them to take as much time as they need, but healing the rift that has come between them is just as important. 

**kittyy0ng:** besides, they’re literally best friends. they’ll figure this out.

**boomer:** we just gotta give them support and little pushes in the right direction 

**justpeachy:** we can do this guys !!

**chanlay:** operation markhyuck is a go ahaha 

**parkjesus:** why am i kinda stoked though 

**chartreuseshep:** jaemin i really hope this works 

**jaememe:** me too 

**junguwu:** what scares me most is the possibility that if they end up never making up, their dynamic and the whole “ markhyuck ” concept will end up ruined for the rest of our careers 

**yutitty:** omg think of the fans and how hard it’ll be for them 

**bunny:** what’ll be harder will be the extra efforts the two will have to put in to look like everything is all right between them and we know just how hard they work already

 **bunny:** the last thing they need right now is more stress

**bigboy:** we have to trust in them 

**bigboy:** we’ve been through this storm way back in 2017 remember 

**bigboy:** if they made it then they can do it now, especially since their friendship is definitely stronger now 

**bigboy:** i just hope it gets solved soon 

**_mean lean dream team !! ( & mark) _ **

_zhong chenle, huang renjun, +5 others_

_10:38 PM_

**shortass:** so are we not going to do talk about what the FUCK happened back there 

**chanlay:** honestly what do i even say 

**shortass:** um 

**shortass:** basically markhyuck went really REALLY wrong over their phones 

**shortass:** FUCKING PHONES 

**bigboy:** they both had really good reasons to be upset i suppose

 **bigboy:** they both lost their phones which is a really big inconvenience especially when we’re here in a foreign country 

**jaememe:** except they blamed it on each other 

**parkjesus:** ^^ 

**chanlay:** well what are we supposed to do 

**chanlay:** i wouldn't feel comfortable trying to be peacemaker or whatever right now because they’re really mad at each other 

**parkjesus:** but poor mark had the biggest reasons to keep his phone protected, his phone case from his mom and the whole dedication thing for her 

**jaememe:** well i mean it wasn't just their phones 

**jaememe:** the phones sparked the argument 

**jaememe:** did you guys read what they were saying about each other 

**chanlay:** oh yeah it was so harsh 

**parkjesus:** but like i felt it HIT me hard 

**chanlay:** ^

**bigboy:** it's not like they haven't disagreed on this certain personality difference between them before either 

**bigboy:** i just can't believe they were so honest 

**shortass:** it's good to be honest with each other in a relationship, especially in friendship 

**shortass:** but when it comes to this kind of issue you don’t normally just say it right in the middle of the main groupchat yknow

 **shortass:** and there's no doubt that the both of them know that 

**parkjesus:** i mean they were REALLY in the moment

**chanlay:** but i feel like hyuck started most of the blame first because he got mad at mark for chasing after him

**parkjesus:** why would he be mad though 

**chanlay:** bc these models of samsung galaxies are supposed to be only moderately splashproof, not entirely resistant to being submerged in water for so long 

**chanlay:** hyuck said that he was only planning to stay in the water momentarily and come back 

**chanlay:** but apparently mark went after him and a whole thing started so 

**parkjesus:** but mark literally only got mad AFTER hyuck started yelling at him 

**chanlay:** exactly

**shortass:** well okay let’s not take sides here yet 

**shortass:** but like 

**shortass:** did you guys see them at dinner 

**bigboy:** that was the worst thing i have ever had to sit through 

**jaememe:** yeah fs 

**jaememe:** at least all the hyungs had the right idea for them to sit out of each other’s direct line of sight but STILL 

**jaememe:** even with 21 people AND STAFF in the same room it was so horrible to bear good grief 

**parkjesus:** the tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife ~

**chanlay:** you’re an embarrassment 

**parkjesus:** ty 

**jaememe:** how long do you think they’re gonna give each other the cold shoulder

**bigboy:** tomorrow

 **bigboy:** it’ll end tomorrow 

**bigboy:** it’s gonna be awkward between them and after that they’ll get mad at each other again

 **bigboy:** cycle continues 

**shortass:** if this gets worse than the 2017 fight istg 

**chanlay:** god i hope not 

**jaememe:** okay let’s not think about this anymore 

**jaememe:** i’m sure they wouldn’t want us worrying 

**jaememe:** remember, all we do is stay CALM 

**parkjesus:** ur right 

**parkjesus:** c a l m 

**chanlay:** model child right there 

**parkjesus:** F CUC K 

**parkjesus:** o H FUCKO

 **parkjesus:** iT S A FUKCIDNWH CO CK RAOCH 

**parkjesus:** IST FLYING TOWARD S ME E

 **parkjesus:** GUSY PELASE he LP EME

 **parkjesus:** FYCK ITS ON MY LEGGGGGGGGGGG

 **parkjesus:** GU SY 

**jaememe:** i take it all back 

**shortass:** GOOD NIGHT 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello !! i hope you're all doing great today :) 
> 
> happy first day of summer !!


	5. welcome to neocity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> dong: .. did u just propose to me 
> 
> nakamoto: YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! i hope you've all had a fantastic week :) 
> 
> [ this chapter is set on the next day from the last chapter ]
> 
> A/N: i changed the wording of a "text" in this and i'd like to apologize to anyone that may have been offended by the use of that word. thank you @JSeakook for bringing this to my attention!

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_qian kun, kim doyoung, +19 others_

_8:55 AM_

**chartreuseshep:** guys i just want to talk 

**chartreuseshep:** who the HELL started BLASTING wakey wakey in the hallway

**whatsuhp:** glad to know it worked

**chartreuseshep:** wow amusing 

**fruitninja:** guys i just found a whole room of food 

**xuxi:** WH AT 

**fruitninja:** they call it continental breakfast 

**fruitninja:** this is awesome 

**fruitninja:** except it closes in 3 minutes

**xuxi:** MOVE 

**parkjesus:** i don’t think i’ve ever seen 19 men run down 14 flights of stairs so fast in my life 

**yutitty:** what do you expect? i want my free breakfast

**bunny:** you guys are humiliating

**whatsuhp:** i can’t believe i was able to witness xiaohenyang fight that staff member for those bagel bites 

**disneyreject:** victory is ours 

**chartreuseshep:** THESE ARE SO GOOD WHAT 

**bigboy:**.. is that staff member ok 

**boomer:** i’ll go check 

**justpeachy:** me too 

**justpeachy:** guys i can’t feel a pulse 

**disneyreject:** well fuck 

**boomer:** oh god i hope not 

**boomer:** we’re already broke enough 

**boomer:** i’m not paying for another body ESPECIALLY IF ITS DEAD 

**justpeachy:**.. nothing’s happening

**chanlay:** uM WHERE’D HE GET THAT BUTTER KNIFE 

**boomer:** CLOSE YOUR EYES KIDS THE DEATH WILL BE QUICK 

**winkwonk:** you can’t be serious

**xuxi:** BRUH PUT THE KNIFE DOWN 

**bigboy:** guys chill

 **bigboy:** it’s just a harmless butter knife AND its kun who wouldn’t harm a fly

**shortass:** have you been living under a rock 

**shortass:** with kun he’s scary even when threatening u with the softest pillow 

**xuxi:** GE PUT IT DOWN

**justpeachy:** WAIT! A BREATH 

**boomer:**

**boomer:** none of you saw the knife okay 

**jaememe:** kun hyung

 **jaememe:** you’re really scary sometimes

**disneyreject:** imagine having him for a leader HA 

**fruitninja:**.. dude

**kittyy0ng:** why do i always have to come into the chat at the worst times 

**ceomoon:** welcome to neocity 

**junguwu:** honestly i think these times are our best 

**chanlay:** GO CRAZY 

**bigboy:** AAAAA

**parkjesus:** GO STUPID 

**shortass:** AAAAAA

**junguwu:** are u feelin me :)) ??

**parkjesus:** hyung please never say that again 

**disneyreject:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) MMMMMMMMMMMM 

**disneyreject:** cmon someone had to do it 

**winkwonk:** u CANNOT justify what u just did with “someone had to do it” 

**eyebrowGAME:** WHAT MAKES IT WORSE IS THAT SOUND EFFECT U TYPED OUT 

**yutitty:** i mean is he wrong though 

_[_ **_winkwonk_ ** _has removed_ **_yutitty_ ** _from the chat ]_

**bunny:** we call this trash parenting 

**bunny:** [ coughs ] **@kittyy0ng @boomer**

**kittyy0ng:** as soon as we get into the car for our schedules ur fucking dead

 **kittyy0ng:** SPEAKING OF 

**kittyy0ng:** it’s time to go guys !! 

**bunny:** he’s weak so he won’t do anything too bad HAHA

**kittyy0ng:** is that a challenge ? 

**xuxi:** AHA see u at ur funeral **@bunny**

**fruitninja:** i’m excited to hear about this later 

**chartreuseshep:** WAIT I WANNA SEE IT GO DOWN PLS

**winkwonk:** YEAH ME TOO 

**boomer:** no 

**ceomoon:** good luck handling them for the rest of the day kun 

**boomer:** thanks

 **boomer:** stay saf(n)e **@kittyy0ng**

**whatsuhp:** see you all later then 

  
  


**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_nakamoto yuta & dong sicheng _

_9:10 AM_

**nakamoto:** winwinnieeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **nakamoto:** winwin pls 

**nakamoto:** dong sichengggg

 **nakamoto:** who removed me from the chat ?

 **nakamoto:** add me back pls 

**nakamoto:** winwin 

**nakamoto:** nakamoto sicheng PLEASE 

**dong:** WHAT DO YOU WANT 

**nakamoto:** OMG IT ACTUALLY WORKED 

**dong:**.. did u just propose to me 

**nakamoto:** YES 

**dong:** i am never adding u back 

**nakamoto:** PLEASE I KNOW YOU LOVE ME 

_read 9:16 AM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm gonna double update this weekend :)
> 
> i'm feeling generous HAHAHA 
> 
> tell me your thoughts in the comments ?


	6. voice cracks on fleek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fruitninja: THIS IS WHY UR A BOOMER BC U RUIN ALL THE FUN SMH 
> 
> boomer: 
> 
> fruitninja: IM JUST KIDDING LMAO   
> fruitninja: pls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys ! 
> 
> i hope you guys are doing great today :) 
> 
> here's that second update i promised bc i'm feeling generous ! 
> 
> [ same day ]

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_nakamoto yuta, wong guanheng, +19 others_

_12:01 PM_

**ceomoon:** update on markhyuck that no one asked for:

 **ceomoon:** it’s a war zone 

**bigboy:** isn’t ur album name neo zone though 

**ceomoon:**

**shortass:** i am so sorry hyung he didn’t mean that 

**bigboy:** wdym yes i diD^{^{*€|!|€(/(626)):7*]*////////

**shortass:** i put him back in his cage sorry 

**xuxi:**.. “ cage ”

**chanlay:** ur humor is really at its lowest rn jeno 

**junguwu:** yeah it is pretty bad 

**junguwu:** and i’m talking about jeno’s humor too 

**bigboy:** :’( 

**kittyy0ng:** the whole time we were here at these two interviews it was insanely awkward and the whole atmosphere was horrible 

**whatsuhp:** the interviewers had zero clue and they asked like two questions about them and markhyuck's smiles were sugarcoated when answering to a point where i felt sick 

**parkjesus:** bruhhh :(

**eyebrowGAME:** what are some questions that were asked ? 

**justpeachy:** “what are some qualities about the person next to u that you like most?” and we were told SPECIFICALLY to sit in age order, so they had to sit beside e/o 

**justpeachy:** we had to give compliments 

**justpeachy:** and one question was like “i’ve heard fans say mark and haechan are really close. what’s your friendship with each other like?” 

**jaememe:** oh 

**bunny:** so in summary i think the interviews are just making it worse because they’re avoiding the issue and only going for the “better” memories they have that are not somewhat bittersweet and they’re sugarcoating everything and kind of lying to make it better 

**chanlay:** dare i ask how they’re doing now ? 

**kittyy0ng:** uh 

**whatsuhp:** good question 

**bunny:** WELL 

**shortass:** wow that bad huh 

**justpeachy:** we’re currently having a snack/lunch with some food the interviewers brought us and they’re sitting in corners on opposite sides of the room and deliberately avoiding eye contact 

**justpeachy:** it’s really obvious 

**fruitninja:** damn 

**ceomoon:** i don’t think our image is doing well in front of these people rn 

**fruitninja:** fuck the image rn 

**fruitninja:** has anyone checked up on them yet 

**whatsuhp:** yeah we tried a lot but they haven’t entirely opened up yet 

**whatsuhp:** yuta’s trying to reach mark 

**winkwonk:** oh yeah yuta 

_[_ **_winkwonk_ ** _has added_ **_yutitty_ ** _to the chat ]_

**yutitty:** WINWIN LOVES MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

 **yutitty:** i knew it !!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**yutitty:** you’re all invited to our wedding tomorrow 

**winkwonk:** i sincerely regret all my life choices 

**yutitty:** but yeah mark’s not doing too well

**xuxi:** really ? 

**yutitty:** yeah im w him rn and hes barely responding to anything i do at all

 **yutitty:** just staring ahead with a blank look on his face

 **yutitty:** i even threatened to leak videos i have of him drunk at the karaoke

**whatsuhp:** what did u just say 

**yutitty:** o shit 

**yutitty:** WAIT I WASNT SUPPOSED TO TELL U 

**jaememe:** UH WTF I WANNA SEE THEM 

**chanlay:** IVE NEVER SEEN MARK ACTUALLY DRUNK IN PERSON 

**ceomoon:** WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN 

**yutitty:** STOP PRESSURING ME U IDIOTS UR MAKING ME NERVOOSE 

**yutitty:** NERVOUS*

**shortass:** HYUNG PLEASE 

**shortass:** THIS IS SUCH GOOD BLACKMAIL CONTENT 

**yutitty:** N O 

**shortass:** _SICHENG GE GET HIM TO DO IT_

**winkwonk:** _HELL NO U LITTLE RAT_

**kittyy0ng:** GUYS AS MUCH AS I WANT TO SEE IT TOO WE HAVE TO GET BACK ON TRACK 

**chanlay:** TY TRACK TY TRACK 

**kittyy0ng:**

**kittyy0ng:** i REALLY don’t get paid enough for this 

**yutitty:** _ < video sent > _

**yutitty:** OH FUCKKKKKKKKKK MY FINGER SLIPPED 

**shortass:** AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **shortass:** THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN HIS RED VELVET IMPRESSION 

**chatreuseshep:** NCT MAIN RAPPER INDEED WOOOAH 

**whatsuhp:** FORGET THE RAPPING MAN LISTEN TO HIM SINGGG

 **whatsuhp:** VOICE CRACKS ON FLEEK [ chef’s kiss ] 

**yutitty:** guys please just disappear from existence 

**bigboy:** too bad

 **bigboy:** i already saved

**shortass:** JENO HERO OF THE DAY 

**bigboy:** are my efforts acknowledged now ?? :))

**shortass:** yes as a matter of fact

 **shortass:** no

**bigboy:** :(

**boomer:** HEY 

**boomer:** MARKHYUCK REMEMBER

**fruitninja:** THIS IS WHY UR A BOOMER BC U RUIN ALL THE FUN SMH 

**boomer:**

**fruitninja:** IM JUST KIDDING LMAO 

**fruitninja:** pls

**yutitty:** we’re back on in a few 

**boomer:** ok but in all seriousness 

**boomer:** neither of them have said anything of their own free will ?

**bunny:** i don’t think so 

**whatsuhp:** we can talk about this later okay guys ? 

**parkjesus:** does anyone feel like extremely tired all of a sudden 

**jaememe:** that might be because u literally went nuts at mark’s video for a good 10 minutes but 

**disneyreject:** like kinda sad and tired at the same time ?

**parkjesus:** YES 

**disneyreject:** that’s literally me bro 

**xuxi:** guys don’t worry 

**xuxi:** remember we gotta have faith in them 

**chartreuseshep:** ur making it sound like markhyuck’s a religion 

**xuxi:** well why can’t they be 

**chartreuseshep:**.. i guess that’s valid 

**fruitninja:** in that case I TRUST AND BELIEVE IN MARKHYUCK CHRIST MY SAVIORS

**bigboy:** MARKHYUCKIANS RISE 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi 
> 
> i'd just like to say:
> 
> jeno is VERY funny !! not a nojam. 
> 
> thank you for listening to my ted talk


	7. 不你

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> xuxi: i mean this with all due respect, sir  
> xuxi: BUT HELL TO THE FUCK NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [ same day ] 
> 
> GUYS HAVE YOU SEEN THE MARKHYUCK 20 MIN VID THING YET 
> 
> i haven't :( the app isn't available in my country APPARENTLY ?? 
> 
> pls send help

**_wavy weishen wayv_ **

_qian kun, liu yangyang, +5 others_

_2:06 PM_

**winkwonk:** i hate yuta 

**disneyreject:** how can u literally hate ur boyfriend

**winkwonk:** HES NOT MY BOYFRIEND

**eyebrowGAME:** i mean he could be 

**winkwonk:** wtf u too dejun

**fruitninja:** why do u hate him

**winkwonk:** he’s just .. UGH 

**xuxi:** he’s annoying because he follows you around and you think it’s endearing but insanely irritating and you feel annoyed that you also feel conflicted about whether to be happy or angry at him 

**winkwonk:** EXACTLYYYYYYYYYY

**chartreuseshep:** how did u get that from three words and two dots 

**xuxi:** my dear baby 

**chartreuseshep:** i’m not ur baby 

**xuxi:** it’s called telepathy with ur soulmate 

**winkwonk:** i would’ve said something entirely different but have it ur way xuxi

**eyebrowGAME:** ANYWAYS 

**eyebrowGAME:** ARE YOU GUYS EXCITED TO GO TO THE LIVING QUARTERS 

**disneyreject:** why do u have to call it that 

**eyebrowGAME:** wHAT’S WRONG WITH THAT 

**disneyreject:** JUST CALL IT A HOUSE BRUH 

**eyebrowGAME:** nO

**fruitninja:** idiots

**disneyreject:** 不你 

_[ trans: no you ]_

**boomer:** OKAYYYYYYYYYY

 **boomer:** seeing as how we’re gonna be stuck in this van together for around an hour let’s play some games !! 

**boomer:** i brought a bunch actually 

**boomer:** want me to list them ?

**disneyreject:** not interested

**chartreuseshep:** let’s go with game pigeon instead 

**fruitninja:** i’d rather watch movies on my phone 

**xuxi:** i wanted to sleep 

**winkwonk:** me too 

**eyebrowGAME:** i was gonna listen to music 

**boomer:**.. GUYS 

**boomer:** CMON I GOT LOTS OF COOL GAMES 

**fruitninja:** yeah ? amuse me 

**boomer:** CHARADES 

**fruitninja:** oh gross 

**boomer:** WDYM 

**boomer:** guys please

 **boomer:**.. i hate being in wayv 

**xuxi:** same 

**boomer:** WHAT DID U JUST SAY 

**xuxi:** I SAID WHAT YOU SAID 

**boomer:** U REALLY HATE IT HUH ?? U WANNA GET UR ASS KICKED ????

**xuxi:** WDYMMMMMMMMMM GUYS HELP

**boomer:** once we get out of this car ur dead huang xuxi 

**winkwonk:** sorry my dude ur on ur own 

**xuxi:** WTF SICHENG WE HAD A CONNECTION

 **xuxi:** WHAT ABOUT THAT SOULMATE SHIT WE HAD 

**winkwonk:** not my problem 

**xuxi:** BRUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**boomer:** it’s not too late to redeem yourself by playing charades

 **boomer:** it’s no fun playing by myself :(

**xuxi:** i mean this with all due respect, sir 

**xuxi:** BUT HELL TO THE FUCK NO 

**boomer:** cursing at an elder ??? 

**boomer:** you’re REALLY dead now xuxi 

**xuxi:** GUYS PLEASE

**disneyreject:** u c a n s u f f e r 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next portion of the story MIGHT be my favorite part so far ;) 
> 
> lmk if you guys want another update this week !


	8. the hunger games

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> fruitninja: is he typing pp over and over again because he likes it.. ??
> 
> whatsuhp: see yourself out please

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my second update ! 
> 
> i hope u guys are having a great day so far! this is the same day as the previous chapter. 
> 
> enjoy <3

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_kim dongyoung, jung yoonoh, +19 others_

_4:23 PM_

**junguwu:** google maps lied 

**junguwu:** that was a two hour long torture 

**shortass:** at least ur here 

**shortass:** i had to sit in that stupid car for 137 minutes with these idiots 

**jaememe:** HEY WHO U CALLING AN IDIOT 

**shortass:** YOU KNOW IT YOURSELF STOP PRETENDING TO BE SHOCKED 

**jaememe:** g a s p [ shocked pikachu face ] 

**yutitty:** i wanna kms 

**yutitty:** i feel like i just escaped from hell 

**kittyy0ng:** GUYS GUESS WHAT 

**kittyy0ng:** AS SOON AS WAYV GETS HERE IT’S A FREE FOR ALL FOR THE ROOMS 

**yutitty:**.. i’d rather go back to hell 

**boomer:** i HEAR THERE’S A HUGE LAKE THERE 

**whatsuhp:**

“ you’re just ten minutes to the beach, but you may think about staying put, given that you have your own private dock, kayaks, hot tub, patio, fire pit, and lawn at this lakefront beauty.

there’s plenty of entertainment indoors as well, including eight flat-screen tvs, a media room, bonus room and second kitchen downstairs. hardwood floors, beautiful finishes and modern leather sofas will delight your guests. and don’t worry about including additional family and friends—the home has two water heaters, a commercial wi-fi hub, two kitchens and three large gathering spaces indoors.

adults will enjoy the three queen bedrooms and the kids will be delighted with the bunk room with big-screen tvs and another upstairs bedroom with four cleverly boxed-in and curtained twin beds with their own plug-ins for electronic devices.

the 5,500-square-foot home is situated on nearly an acre, so you'll enjoy space, privacy and all the natural beauty of the lake from the hot tub patio and a sweet deck complete with porch swing. it also offers 4 additional memory foam sleeping pads for your convenience! change up your coastal stay with time on the lake and get the best of both worlds for your family and friends! ” 

**winkwonk:** damn 

**boomer:** PERFECT 

**whatsuhp:** why do i feel like i’m dreading wayv’s arrival 

**chartreuseshep:** because kun is planning xuxi’s funeral right here after he kills him 

**whatsuhp:** WHAT 

**kittyy0ng:** THEY’RE HERE 

**eyebrowGAME:** WOAH THIS PLACE IS GORGEOUS AND SO BIG 

**whatsuhp:** WAIT 

**kittyy0ng:** OKAY FIRST THINGS FIRST 

**kittyy0ng:** THERE ARE 5 BEDROOMS BUT YOU CAN GO WILD AND FIND YOUR OWN PLACES TO SLEEP 

**kittyy0ng:** AS LONG AS I DON’T SEE A DEAD CORPSE WHEN I WALK INTO THE HOUSE YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOUR EVIL LITTLE HEARTS DESIRE 

**chanlay:** question

**kittyy0ng:** yes 

**chanlay:** what if i’m heartless 

**chanlay:** and i'm back to my ways cause i'm heartless

 **chanlay:** all this money and this pain got me heartless

**fruitninja:** damn i can’t relate 

**fruitninja:** just like all the broke nctzens reading this: dinero, peso, yen, lo quiero, i want it

**chanlay:** **i just made a million and i'm still not satisfied**

**shortass:** can u stop

**ceomoon:** i’m so confused

**bigboy:** WHAT'S HAPPENING

**kittyy0ng:** GO

**whatsuhp:** BUT KUN AND XUXI- 

**fruitninja:** shh just let them be 

**fruitninja:** survival of the fittest will work out 

**whatsuhp:**.. THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT ??!!!

**parkjesus:** LELE WHERE R U 

**chanlay:** c uRrENtlY bAttLINg yANgyNAG fO r tHE BeDROOm 

**chartreuseshep:** EVERY FUCKING HUMAN FOR THEMSELF

**parkjesus:** WHERE 

**chanlay:** BITCH I’M FIGHTING FOR OUR ROOM WHERE ELSE 

**parkjesus:** THERE ARE LITERALLY 5 OF THOSE “ROOMS” WTF IS WRONF WITH U 

**bigboy:** JAEMIN NOW’S A GOOD TIME TO TURN ON YOUR TELEPATHY 

**bunny:** IT’S SO LOUD I CAN’T HEAR ANYTHING 

**kittyy0ng:** THAT’S THE WAY IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE 

**kittyy0ng:** THESE ARE THE HUNGER GAMES 

**justpeachy:** GUYS ENOUGH 

**justpeachy:** I DON’T THINK THIS IS GONNA WORK 

**justpeachy:** how about we take it easy and just meet back up outside and figure this out like REAL adults 

**shortass:** yes please i’d rather have that than have hyuck hold me hostage out the window like this 

**ceomoon:** OUT THE WHAT 

**eyebrowGAME:** dude HOW can you still be texting WHILE BEING HELD OUT THE WINDOW

**shortass:** what can i say ? i have my ways 

**eyebrowGAME:** THAT DOESN’T MAKE IT BETTER HOLD ON I’M COMING 

**kittyy0ng:** ok everyone minus hyuck dejun and renjun are out here 

**kittyy0ng:** where’s yoonoh

 **kittyy0ng:**.. it’s been three minutes where is he 

**bunny:** .. wait a minute

**whatsuhp:** oh my god 

**xuxi:** DID HE JUST 

**justpeachy:** HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHA

**ceomoon:** BRUH NOOO

**justpeachy:** I’M LOCKING MYSELF IN THIS ROOM AND NO ONE WILL BE ABLE TO COME IN

 **justpeachy:** b E C A U S E I T ’ S M I N E 

**justpeachy:** MMM ONE KING SIZED BED AND TV AND HUGEASS COUCH TO MYSELFFFF

**yutitty:** YOU SICK FUCK 

**kittyy0ng:** THE WINDOW GO TRY THE WINDOW 

**justpeachy:** HAHAHAHA NOPE

 **justpeachy:** my defenses are IMPENETRABLE 

**kittyy0ng:**.. that’s literally the best room in the whole house 

**kittyy0ng:** WHO ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN

**parkjesus:** you, sir 

**kittyy0ng:** WELL THEN WHO ALLOWED ME TO LET THIS HAPPEN 

**justpeachy:** 2I2LQWPEOWP Q~~!~~!@#w!2112’21P @@@##q!!#p#ppppp###%%%%

**fruitninja:** is he typing pp over and over again because he likes it.. ??

**whatsuhp:** see yourself out please

**chanlay:** JISUNGGGGGGGGGG

 **chanlay:** GET IN HERE

 **chanlay:** NOW. 

**jaememe:** woah aggressive much 

**parkjesus:** wait what 

**shortass:** WE JUST HEARD A LOUDASS SCREAM FROM ONE OF THE BEDROOMS 

**shortass:** WHAT HAPPENED 

**chanlay:** JISUNG HURRY 

**chanlay:** HAUL ASS CMON M O V E 

**shortass:** NO HENDERY WAIT

**ceomoon:** what happened ?????

**shortass:** I DON’T KNOW HE JUST RAN OFF TO FIND OUT WHO SCREAMED 

**shortass:** WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENINGGGGGGG

**chanlay:** JISUNG PLEASE COM E NWOOOOOOO8228{{{d{]A]%%%%5WQ’;’;WO19@#4230!1

**bigboy:** that scream was definitely chenle’s 

**bigboy:** as for the thud, i have no idea 

**parkjesus:** CHENLE WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU 

**eyebrowGAME:** JISUNG WAIT 

**boomer:** WHERE’D HE GO 

**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_wong guanheng, qian kun_

_4:59 PM_

**wong:** i’m only telling you this because i trust you 

**qian:** what did you do this time

**wong:** WELL 

**wong:** i MAY have broken the door to that bedroom down 

**wong:** AND killed chenle in the process 

**qian:** i don’t even know what to say to you anymore

 **qian:** how 

**wong:** i heard someone- i think yoonoh hyung- screaming and went to check it out and kicked the door down ( I DIDN’T KNOW IT WOULD WORK ) because i wanted to enter the room looking like i was ready to save the day but THAT didn’t work either because chenle started screaming at me but i couldn’t see who he was through all the dust that came from the door falling down so i tackled him bc that was my first instinct and um he’s not responding to my slaps so 

**qian:** i’m calling 911

**wong:** NO PLEASE I’M TOO YOUNG TO GO TO PRISON

**qian:** YOU BROKE SOMEONE ELSE’S PROPERTY AND YOU HAVE AN UNCONSCIOUS BODY AT YOUR DISPOSAL RIGHT NOW 

**wong:**.. actually i have two 

_read 5:03 PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.beachcombersnw.com/laurel-haven
> 
> THAT'S THE HOUSE THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO "STAY IN" ! check it out if u want a better visual HAHA
> 
> feel free to tell me your thoughts in the comments :)


	9. renjun: ANGERY IN TINY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lee: well tell DONGHYUCK that i’d rather sleep in mud than with him   
> lee: wait that came out wrong   
> lee: i DON’T want to sleep with you - that’s my point  
> lee: this is mark btw 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter today to move the story along a little bc even i feel like it's dragging out a lil too much rn HAHA 
> 
> [ same day ]

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_qian kun, park jisung, +19 others_

_6:03 PM_

**boomer:** update: chenhyun are unconscious 

**disneyreject:** BRUH 

**parkjesus:** CHENLE PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE 

**xuxi:**.. is jisung okay 

**jaememe:** i would let him be if i were you 

**jaememe:** he’s super soft but he gets scary when someone he cares about gets hurt in any way 

**shortass:** why’s jisung in the house - h 

**whatsuhp:** HAECHAN HYUCKIE MY BABY I MISSED YOU ON THIS CHAT 

**disneyreject:** update: jisung is in the room and he just collapsed next to chenle and he looks panicked but upset- his hands are fluttering all over lele’s face 

**shortass:** UPDATE: I JUST WALKED IN AND IT LOOKS LIKE A WAR ZONE IN HERE

 **shortass:** HYUCK AND I ARE CHECKING ON YOONOH HYUNG NOW 

**shortass:** OK CHENHYUN ARE GOOD AND AWAKE 

**bunny:** phew that’s relieving 

**bunny:** NOW GET YOUR ASSES DOWN HERE BECAUSE I THINK THE 16 OF US DESERVE A FULL, DETAILED EXPLANATION ON WHAT JUST HAPPENED

**shortass:** how do we explain the knocked down door 

**kittyy0ng:** THE WHAT 

**winkwonk:** HE PASSED OUT !!! （＊〇□〇）……！

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_lee jeno, huang renjun, +19 others_

_6:43 PM_

**disneyreject:** yeah that’s all that happened

**shortass:** i STILL can’t believe you’re telling me chenle fell out of the vent on the ceiling ON TOP of yoonoh 

**chanlay:** AT LEAST I GOT THE ROOM

**justpeachy:** but the door ..

**chanlay:** ah don’t worry, there’s nothing my wallet can’t fix 

**bigboy:** my salaries are crying 

**kittyy0ng:** okay, well the non-existent staff and i have concluded that we literally CANNOT allow 21 men to run free around a RENTED property because we’d either all die because of a freak accident caused by one of us or get lost in the woods or even worse- the house. 

**chartreuseshep:** why is the house worse

**kittyy0ng:** DON’T INTERRUPT ME 

**kittyy0ng:** so we’ve decided to do games !! whoever wins first place at this mission will get the first pick to a room, and the order of choosing will be determined by rankings as well. then we’ll order pizza. 

**kittyy0ng:** get ready.. for 

**kittyy0ng:** CAPTURE THE FLAG !!!

**junguwu:** hyung it’s still gonna be 21 men running around

**kittyy0ng:** THIS TIME WE CAN BLAME IT ON SM IF WE BURN SOMETHING DOWN 

**jaememe:** OKAYYYY LET’S GET STARTED I LOVE CAPTURE THE FLAG 

**shortass:** just hearing or seeing the name makes me feel scared

 **shortass:** are any of you aware of how SCARY and INTIMIDATING the other dreamies are when playing or doing something competitively 

**chartreuseshep:** that’s only cause you’re tinier than all of them 

**shortass:** KEEP THAT UP YANGYANG AND MY HEIGHT WON’T BE THE ONLY THING YOU CALL SHORT

**chartreuseshep:** oh no what else could it be ??

**shortass:** _YOUR_

 **shortass:** _DIC2@@@K:e@epD_

**boomer:** just had to wrestle renjun’s phone away from him but we’re okay now 

**shortass:** i hate boomers UGH 

**shortass:** ESP KUN GE ( ︶︿︶)_╭∩╮

**chanlay:** OMG !!!!! did yall hear sumn ??????

**boomer:** my heart breaking 

**shortass:** shut up

**chanlay:** renjun: [ _angery_ _in tiny **INTENSIFIES**_ ]

**kittyy0ng:** it starts with a treasure hunt concept- each person goes and looks for a flag, and it's literally every man for himself. there will be the first time limit, and whoever can’t find a flag or more by then is placed at the bottom by default. whenever u find a flag, report it to a staff member. by the second time limit- whoever gets the most flags (steals) till time's up wins first, and so on. penalties for the last four- they get the mattresses and later decide if they get to sleep outside

 **kittyy0ng:** ps. stay on the property. pls.

 **kittyy0ng:** i can’t believe i have to say that to full grown men ಠ⌣ಠ 

**bigboy:** ooh this sounds real fun !! 

**shortass:** i am so gonna die first 

**jaememe:** are we allowed to set traps 

**xuxi:** I LIKE THE WAY YOU THINK 

**kittyy0ng:** once the staff tells us to go- 

**jaememe:** BEAR TRAPS 

**jaememe:** LET ME GET MINE OUT REAL QUICK 

**fruitninja:** OKAY BYE LOSERS

**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_zhong chenle, park jisung_

_6:50 PM_

**zhong:** sung turn your location off RIGHT NOW

 **zhong:** we also have to text in case anyone overhears us talking 

**park:** ok 

**zhong:** let’s team up 

**zhong:** that way we can get more flags and win 

**park:** but if we play as a pair does that mean we’ll end up sharing a room in the end 

**zhong:**

**zhong:** LET’S NOT THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW 

**zhong:** we have to focus 

**zhong:** so where would they hide 21 flags 

**park:** the lake 

**zhong:** hm smart 

**zhong:** inside ? 

**park:** i feel like they might do that but might not also 

**zhong:** can you swim 

**park:**.. are u serious 

**zhong:** it won’t be that bad, besides i bet they hid it near the shore just for safety measures 

**park:** chenle no 

**zhong:** let’s just go back to the house and change then quickly come back

_read 5:52 PM_

**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_huang renjun, na jaemin, lee jeno_

_6:50 PM_

**lee:** mark’s apparently tagging along with me help 

**huang:** so ? that’s not my problem 

**lee:** could you be ANY more heartless good god 

**huang:** well what do you want me to do jeno? 

**lee:** he says he wants us to team up 

**na:** ah well 

**na:** hyuck isn’t leaving my side either 

**na:** his words not mine 

**lee:** does hyuck know that mark’s with me rn ? 

**na:** almost found out. 

**na:** let’s meet somewhere- also turn your locations off 

**huang:** meet by the hot tub

**lee:** mark’s holding me back- he says he doesn’t want to go anymore

 **lee:** ah apparently he knows 

**na:** well tell mark to stop being such a fucking baby 

**na:** unless he wants to sleep in mud 

**na:** -h 

**na:** sorry he took my phone 

**lee:** well tell DONGHYUCK that i’d rather sleep in mud than with him 

**lee:** wait that came out wrong 

**lee:** i DON’T want to sleep with you - that’s my point

 **lee:** this is mark btw 

**lee:** in case u didn't know

 **lee:** bc i'm PRETTY sure jeno wants to sleep with you 

**lee:** IN A BED I MEAN 

**lee:** fuck that's worse UHHH

**na:** mark shut the fuck up -h

**lee:** MAKE ME THEN 

**na:** holy shit 

**huang:** they’re both disasters

**na:** jesus save us from minhyung pls - h 

**lee:** JESUS PROBABLY DOESN'T EVEN WANT YOU 

**lee:** _**HOE** _

**lee:** honestly i think u need the bible i gave u for ur bday like rn 

**huang:** damn jeno ?????????

**lee:** oh i'm mark btw 

**na:** i hate him so much guys HELPPPPP - h

 **na:** **凸( ಥ ͜ʖ ಥ )凸**

**lee:** what's with the weird emo middle fingers - mark 

**na:** dumbass 

**na:** that's me to u 

**lee:** wdym i didn't know u were emo 

**na:** WE'RE HERE

 **na:** SHUT UP MARK 

**lee:** okay i see u - jn

**huang:** we have to text just in case anyone overhears us 

**huang:** so where should we look first 

**lee:** how about right here ? the dock/patio ? we can start here first

**na:** ok

**lee:** wait but if we win together does that mean we’ll have to share a room

 **lee:** the 5 of us ?? - mark 

**huang:** we can probably negotiate later or something 

**huang:** but anyways, there’re two big rooms full of bunk beds so we can share that one if it comes to that 

**na:** i already know i’m not gonna sleep well if i’m in the same room as him tonight - h 

**huang:** guys

**lee:** who’s acting like a baby now ?

 **lee:** seriously grow some balls - mark 

**na:** stfu or i’ll punch you -h 

**lee:** aha try me bitch - mark 

**huang:** GUYS 

**na:** YOU THINK I WON’T ???? - h 

**lee:** IT’S A VINE CALM DOWN - mark

**huang:** maybe i should just go solo 

**na:** too bad 

**na:** jennie's done that already

**huang:** BICHI NANEUN SOLLO **╭∩╮⊂◉‿◉つ╭∩╮**

**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_zhong chenle, park jisung_

_7:01 PM_

**zhong:** let’s run 

**zhong:** it’ll be faster 

**park:** is that absolutely necessary 

**zhong:**.. no ? but we should just do it 

**park:** fine

  
  


**zhong:** ok i’m gonna dive off the dock in 3 

**zhong:** hold my phone, will you ? 

**park:** uh wait 

**park:** you’re gonna go alone ?

**zhong:** do you really want to come with me 

**park:**

**zhong:** that’s what i thought. 

**zhong:** i’d rather i go because it might be dangerous here- and you’re not that good at swimming right 

**park:** but that means you’ll be put into danger too 

**zhong:** better me than you 

**park:** why ? don’t you think i should be there with you ?? 

**zhong:** jisung i said no. 

**zhong:** you can’t even swim 

**park:** i’m going in with you 

**zhong:** NO 

**park:** then why have me change ? so i can just sit here and watch you ??

 **park:** i thought we were a team ??? aren’t we supposed to be working together ?

**zhong:** stop asking so many questions 

**zhong:** we’re wasting time 

**zhong:** i’m going in 

**park:** nope 

**zhong:** jisung you have to let go of me 

**park:** no 

**zhong:** FINE YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY ? 

**zhong:** I DON’T WANT YOU TO DROWN OR GET HURT OKAY GET IT IN YOUR BIG DUMB HEAD

**park:** WELL.. RIGHT BACK AT YOU THEN 

**park:** I’D RATHER GET HURT AND PROTECT MY BEST FRIEND IF THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES 

**zhong:**

**zhong:** at least let me take my shoes and shirt off first

**park:** okay give me a few seconds 

**zhong:** let’s check under the dock and maybe a little farther out 

**zhong:** but you’re gonna need to hold onto my hand so i can know that you’re NOT drowning on me 

**park:** whatever floats ur boat lmao 

**park:** get it ? cause it’s a water related joke ?

**zhong:**

**zhong:** you know what ? i’m gonna let you drown. 

**park:** wait chenle plEAHSEEESKA=OQQ0kskYR

_read 6:08 PM_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys ! 
> 
> sorry for not updating last week, i wanted to let you guys let the last chapter sink in a little before i updated again. please tell me what you think about the updating schedule, idk if i should update more often or not. 
> 
> lmk whether you think this story is moving along too slowly or not? because i'm a bit concerned about that. thanks :) ily all so much !!! stay safe <33


	10. the boyz are back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winkwonk: u shouldn’t even be talking to me rn remember   
> winkwonk: these are the hunger games   
> winkwonk: we are RIVALS 
> 
> yutitty: whatever !! ur still the love of my life :) 

**_ROADTRIP HELL_ **

_huang renjun, kim jungwoo, +19 others_

_7:30 PM_

**xuxi:** anyone wanna perhaps tell me their location and how many flags they’ve found so far ? 

**fruitninja:** every man for himself bro

**junguwu:** well the first time limit is over now anyways 

**chartreuseshep:** wait did someone just shout something i couldn’t hear

**parkjesus:** oh yeah we’re scattered all over the place 

**kittyy0ng:** for those who couldn’t hear- 

“ the first time limit is now over. as of now, thirteen out of twenty-one flags have been recovered. for those who have not yet been able to find any, you have an hour to find and to steal any of the twenty-one flags. ” 

**jaememe:** omg WHAT

**disneyreject:** ONLY 13 WERE FOUND ? BY WHOM ???

**ceomoon:** are they gonna tell us who got those 13 ??

 **ceomoon:** NO ??

**kittyy0ng:** ok type “i” if u found any 

**yutitty:** as if i’d tell any of you

 **yutitty:** you’d all just come for me

**eyebrowGAME:** that’s a fair point

**boomer:** in that case, i choose to remain silent 

**kittyy0ng:** FINE 

**kittyy0ng:** i’ll try asking the staff if they can reveal the top 3

**kittyy0ng:**

“ the member(s) in third place are jaemin, mark, jeno, renjun, and haechan. ” 

**whatsuhp:** WAIT THAT’S SO SMART - TEAMING ??? BRUH 

**kittyy0ng:**

“ the member in second place is taeil.” 

**ceomoon:** WHOOOOOO HAHAHAHAHAHA 

**ceomoon:** i didn’t honestly expect that though

**disneyreject:** i don’t think any of us did tbh

**winkwonk:** don’t underestimate him - he’s a smart cookie when he wants to be

**ceomoon:** “ when he wants to be ”

 **ceomoon:** thanks sichengie :’) 

**shortass:** sO WHO’S FIRST 

**kittyy0ng:** i’M TRYING MY BEST TO BRIBE THE STAFF RN 

**parkjesus:** tell them we’ll behave when asked to !! that always works

**bunny:** that’s definitely impossible to do and you know it 

**xuxi:** i’LL TRY MY BEST 

**kittyy0ng:** OKAY I GOT IT 

**xuxi:**.. damn 

**xuxi:** i can’t believe they agreed to let us know just bc i promised to try 

**xuxi:** now i have to behave ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽

**kittyy0ng:**

“ the member(s) in first place are .. ” 

**kittyy0ng:** drumroll pls 

**yutitty:** COME ON I DIDN’T RUN AROUND FOR 30 MINS TO FIND THOSE STUPID FLAGS FOR U TO DRAG IT OUT LIKE THIS BRUHHHHH

 **yutitty:** HURRY UP YOU OLD FART 

**kittyy0ng:**

**kittyy0ng:** nvrm 

**kittyy0ng:** y’all can suffer because of yuta 

**yutitty:** o fuck 

**yutitty:** i meant that affectionately .. ??

**bunny:** FIRST OF ALL 

**bunny:** NEVER SAY “Y’ALL” AGAIN

 **bunny:**.. that’s cursed

 **bunny:** SECOND OF ALL 

**bunny:** we don’t claim nakamoto yuta 

**yutitty:** UM HELLO ????

 **yutitty:** DOYOUNG U BITCHASS

**winkwonk:** do y’all hear sumn ???

**ceomoon:** yuta ? who’s that

**boomer:** wait isn’t he that one dude from ntc- one-to-seven ???

**whatsuhp:** hold on i thought that was a state in the u.s ????

**yutitty:** I NEVER SHOULD’VE LEFT OSAKA FOR U HEADASSES 

**bunny:** in conclusion, we don’t know a yuta 

**jaememe:** please hyung 

**chartreuseshep:** TELL US PLEASE

**kittyy0ng:** it’s chensung

**bigboy:** ayyy chenji drop ur locations 

**chartreuseshep:** wya ??

**kittyy0ng:** SECOND TIME LIMIT STARTS NOW 

**jaememe:** I’LL GIVE U LOTS OF HUGS AND KISSES LATER IF U GIVE ME UR FLAGS

**parkjesus:** UH WTF NO IN YOUR DREAMS

**jaememe:**

**jaememe:** fine then 

**jaememe:** from this moment on, u and i are at WAR. 

**jaememe:** ur disowned. 

**parkjesus:**.. does that mean ur not gonna cook me food anymore ?

**jaememe:** right-o you poor orphan

 **jaememe:** oh and 

**jaememe:** ur adopted 

**parkjesus:** NOOOOOO

**chanlay:** FIGHT IT JISUNG 

**xuxi:** wait they said that the ranks are based on the number of flags those people have so the higher it goes the more they have 

**justpeachy:** didn’t taeyong say that norenmin and markhyuck are third ?

**disneyreject:**.. THAT’S RIGHT 

**junguwu:** AND TAEIL HYUNG IS SECOND 

**fruitninja:** DAMN TAEIL !!

**shortass:** i’m finding those missing flags before any of you losers

**winkwonk:** bold of u to assume that u can 

**yutitty:** hey sicheng do u know where those eight are ??? I NEED THOSE FLAGS 

**winkwonk:** u shouldn’t even be talking to me rn remember 

**winkwonk:** these are the hunger games 

**winkwonk:** we are RIVALS 

**yutitty:** whatever !! ur still the love of my life :) <333333333

  
  


**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_zhong chenle, park jisung_

_7:42 PM_

**park:** what are we gonna do now ?? 

**zhong:** calm down 

**zhong:** we’re gonna be okay 

**park:** u call hiding in some bushes okay ??? 

**zhong:** it’s our best shot at surviving this 

**park:** but we can steal, can’t we ? 

**zhong:** oh right 

**zhong:** but do we really wanna take that risk though ? 

**park:** if we don’t do anything the others might steal and get more than us 

**zhong:** that’s a huge ass risk 

**park:** we can do it. 

**park:** we’ve done tons of things together as a duo for YEARS 

**park:** what can’t we do ?

**zhong:** i guess that’s fair 

**zhong:** but if someone jumps us .. then what 

**park:** i’ll protect you

 **park:** what else ? 

**zhong:** are u sure u won’t just start running 

**park:**.. shut up 

**park:** let’s just go 

**zhong:** WATCH - THE MOMENT WE STAND UP WE’LL GET JUMPED 

**park:** THEN WE TAKE THE PADDLEBOAT AND SAIL AWAY 

**zhong:** ah i’m kind of nervous 

**park:** do u want me to hold ur hand or something 

**zhong:** UH IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION

 **zhong:** I’D RATHER TAKE “OR SOMETHING” THAN TOUCH U 

**zhong:** just kidding

 **zhong:** take it 

**zhong:**.. please 

**park:** we’re gonna make a break for the woods right

**zhong:** duh where else 

**zhong:** on the count of 3 ? 

**zhong:** ALSO IF U DROP A SINGLE FLAG OR LET GO OF MY HAND I WILL MURDER U IN UR SLEEP PARK JISUNG 

**park:** that’s literally not a threat coming from u 

**park:** JKJKJKJK CHILLLLLLLL

_read 6:48 PM_

  
  


**_PRIVATE CHAT_ **

_na jaemin, lee jeno, huang renjun_

_7:54 PM_

**huang:** guys PLEASE don’t fuck this up 

**huang:** we have 2 flags so far but that’s not enough 

**na:** should we split up ?

**huang:** i feel like if we had mark and jeno go hide with the flags it’d work

**lee:** so the rest of us go steal/look for them ? 

**na:** yeah pretty much 

**lee:** OKAY LET’S GET THIS SHITSHOW ON THE ROADDDD - h 

**huang:** make sure u text us immediately if u need help or if u’ve found one

**na:** i’m gonna get jumped omg - mark 

**lee:** as long as u don’t shriek or fart, u won’t give away ur location and u’ll be safe from harm like the lil fucking princess u are - h 

**na:** OKAY jeno and i are leaving rn - mark 

**lee:** coward - h

**lee:** can i please have my phone back - jm

**huang:** ur all so mf annoying

 **huang:** once i win i’m kicking u all out of the damn room 

**huang:** THAT’S A THREAT. 

**lee:** not really - h 

**huang:** ok donghyuck first then 

**lee:** oh but yknow what i have an idea -jn

**na:** oh god he has an idea 

**huang:** let’s hear it 

**lee:** LET’S CLIMB UP INTO THE TREES AND SPY ON PEOPLE FROM THERE 

**na:**

**na:** you’re gonna be the first person we abandon - h 

**lee:** wait but that’s not bad though - mark 

**lee:** should jeno and i do that ? since we’re mostly hiding anyways ? 

**lee:** see i told you it was a smart idea 

**huang:** no it’s still pretty dumb 

**na:** how tf are u gonna get up there 

**lee:** build a treehouse duh - mark 

**lee:** GUYS DON’T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT 

**na:** have you guys even tried climbing before 

**lee:** um

**na:** we’re gonna die. - h 

**huang:** let’s see if they can do it first

 **huang:** i honestly don’t care what u do as long as u don’t lose the flags

**lee:** honestly ? i think having jeno here to fight people is the right idea 

**lee:** we can do it - mark

**na:** neither of you can touch a fly without shrieking - h 

**lee:**.. that’s a valid point

**huang:** let’s just go cmon we’re wasting time 

**lee:** share ur locations with us in case we have to meet up - mark 

**na:** yessir

**lee:** hey siri how do you climb a tree

**na:** are you actually serious rn

**lee:** oh shit i didn’t mean to voice type that into here 

**huang:**.. omg did you guys hear that scream 

**lee:** yeah we heard it all the way over by the docks too 

**lee:** jeno went to check it out

 **lee:** wait i think i see something 

**lee:** BRUH WNOOIEDJKD##%#!)!wE’E’ OE[[[1{{@IRW[-sdnkl***uq OO

**huang:** guys ??

**lee:** FC UK ITS CHENSIOUNG

 **lee:** TEHY REE AFGTER U S 

**na:** WHO ???/

**lee:** CHENJI

**huang:** GUYS YOU EITHER RUN OR GRAB THEIR FLAGS THERE’S NO IN BETWEEN 

**lee:** OMG 

**lee:** I JUST CLIMBED HALFWAY UP A TREE WITH THE FLAGS BUT JENO’S WRESTLING THEM BOTH FOR THE FLAGS THEY HAVE 

**lee:** wait 

**lee:** WTF JENO’S DOWN !!!?!?

**na:** he’s shitting us right - h 

**lee:** I HAVE TO CHECK IF HE’S OKAY 

**huang:** NO 

**na:** MARK PLEASE HE’S PROBABLY FINE 

**na:** UR CARRYING BOTH OF OUR FLAGS 

**lee:** YOU CAN’T JUST TELL ME TO LEAVE MY FRIEND DOWN THERE AND INJURED

**na:** DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT - H 

**lee:** ok update he’s fine

 **lee:** but i don’t see chenj//??89 72653@#&^@ip”>W_ 

**lee:** _@OEI**EYG$BU#X”KAJ:O

 **lee:** immwi21-1!!!111!!

**na:**.. should we help them 

**huang:** probably ? but i’m too lazy LMAOO

**na:** we’ve lost for sure now ughhhhhh - h 

**na:** i guess we’re sleeping in mud tonight 

**huang:** let’s check on them first 

**lee:** they took teh floags

**na:** what else would they have done 

**huang:** WEAKLINGS 

**huang:** JENO WTF 

**huang:** I KNEW MARK WAS WEAK BUT U ????

**lee:** HEY >:I

**na:** shut up u know it’s true 

**lee:** (◞ ‸ ◟ㆀ)

**na:** so what now 

**huang:** who knows ? chensung’s got the flags 

**lee:** we can still steal though right 

**lee:** who should we go for 

**huang:** xiaojun hendery and yangyang 

**huang:** none of them can properly fight 

**huang:** not even 1 v 3 

**huang:** btw i was the 1 in the fight 

**na:** that can’t be true - h 

**huang:** I HAD TO LET THEM WIN 

**na:** i think u maybe confused them for your imaginary friends - h 

**huang:** BITCH 

**na:** who, you ? - h 

**huang:** wait till this fucking game is over and i’ll strangle you to death 

**na:** oo kinky - h 

**huang:** JAEMIN STOP LETTING HIM TAKE YOUR GODDAMN PHONE 

**na:** who’s gonna stop me, you ? 

**na:** HAHA :P

**huang:** i hate all of you 

**lee:** STOP - mark 

**lee:** wait did u guys hear that 

**na:** renjun’s bullshit ? 

**na:** o yeah i’ve heard too much of that 

**huang:** ╭∩╮( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╭∩╮

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS OMGGGG 😭 I'M BACK YAY 
> 
> it's been a LONG while! i finally got off my lazy butt and decided to post a new chapter :) idk if anyone still reads this mess but if you do.. omg my biggest respects to you. you are a trooper, dear sunseokie. i love you very much. 
> 
> ALSO I'VE DECIDED THAT AFTER I RUN OUT OF PRE-WRITTEN CHAPTERS TO POST, I'M OFFICIALLY ADDING IN SHOTARO AND SUNGCHAN !!! my babies :( i'm sad resonance is nearly over :((((
> 
> (AND JISUNG'S AN ADULT IN 12 DAYS.... DUDES) 
> 
> but i'll always cherish ot23 in my heart. i DID wait 2 long years for all of nct to come together again; what's waiting a little longer for our family to reunite once more? 
> 
> CHAT WITH ME IN THE COMMENTS !!

**Author's Note:**

> whew this is chaos


End file.
